You’re Gonna Make It After All

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Mary Tyler Moore inspired me.  Although she died in January this year, I’m reminded of her theme song in my head – especially my favorite line:

You’re gonna make it after all.

The hope that I feel when I hear that line sung in my head is so comforting to me.  Do you remember the show or the song?  I can’t help but wonder if that line will become my newest theme song too.

Here’s a little nostalgia for you to enjoy!

Who can turn the world on with her smile?
Who can take a nothing day, and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile?
Well it’s you girl, and you should know it
With each glance and every little movement you show it
Love is all around, no need to waste it.
You can have the town, why don’t you take it.
You’re gonna make it after all

Sung by Sonny Curtis

 

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The Eclipse Experienced

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I sat outside during the eclipse.  Better said, I sat outside before, during and afterwards.  The photo above was of the sunlight on my patio glass table which I thought was so interesting.  After all, it didn’t look like the sun at all.  It was a photo mistake turned into a post caption because it looks to me like a lampshade and yet it was the reflection of the sun just before the eclipse began!

How did you feel during the eclipse?  Did you see those crescent-shaped shadows on the ground?  I keep hearing about them, but I haven’t seen any photos of them.  Would someone please share them here so I can see what they are talking about?

I felt the eclipse more than I witnessed it.  I felt a stirring inside of me before and during the eclipse’s scheduled times in my area.  Afterwards, I just felt tired, as if I had run a marathon (which I never would attempt so I can only guess how that feels)!

I let go because I had read so many articles about the celestial reset which occurs during this solar eclipse.  I hunkered down and wrote what my intentions are for the coming year.  What I want to experience (LOVE) and what I want to see (PEACE) and what I wish for me (FINDING MY DIVINE PURPOSE) that hopefully brings me an increase in my finances which I need!  I let go of the toxic relationships that have been bound to me.  I tried to clean out the wounds I held so closely and I prayed a little as well.

So there, I’ve put it all out for the Universe to see, to hear and to know!

How did you experience the eclipse?  Did you watch it with those special glasses?  Do you have photos?   I would love to see them if you do!

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Hold Me Close – Hugs Needed

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All during the turbulent separation and divorce, the one thing that I wanted more than anything was to be hugged.  I wanted to be held for a few moments of peace.  I wanted someone’s arms around me, to nestle me and to just let me lay my head on their chest, arms firmly wrapped around me so that I could just breathe for a few moments and not be responsible for anyone at all, not even myself.

I still dream of being held that way.

Have you ever just wanted to let go and be held?  Even for just a few moments?  There were friends who helped through the hard times, but nobody ever held me.  I don’t think I would have even been too particular about who it was who stepped up to lend me a few moments of peace and rejuvenation.  Really.  When it comes to it, I can honestly say, I would have taken almost anyone’s offer.  But none came.

Maybe because I never said it aloud.  I never asked.  At this age, people don’t assume we need to be held.  Sure a quick hug from a friend when we meet and depart.  That’s considered normal.  But to be held for more than a few quick seconds?  Not in the cards.

I imagine there are others out there who just need a few moments of serenity from time to time.  Are you out there?  Do you feel this way or do you think I’m some type of a crazy lunatic who is a baby?  I can assure you that I’m not.  I’m just showing you me – my vulnerable side.  The one that just needs a bit of protection occasionally.  I’m not needy by any means.  I have and can and do handle a ton of stuff on a daily basis and not many people know that side of me.  They see a divorced mom who has had a hard time recently, but who’s making it work the best she can with a positive smile.

I’m an affectionate person by nature.  Innately, I’m touchy feely but I’ve been surrounded by family (now abandoned by his family) who didn’t understand me.  At 50 years old now, I think I’m entitled to be me and to enjoy being me.

Consider this a hug from me to you, if you need it.  If you don’t, then I’ll back off.  I’m not one to push when I know you’re not a hugger.

 

 

 

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What’s Your Plan For The Solar Eclipse?

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So if you’re like me, you might have read about the cosmos and how astrologically the solar eclipse on 21 August may affect us emotionally, spiritually and as a whole world.  I won’t bore you with what I’ve read as I’m sure you have your favorite writers to read who share their knowledge about this very subject.

But, it reminds me of how I am dropping the sandbags and letting go of toxic relationships, slowly but surely.  Resetting myself, my goals and my relationships because I’m finding myself more centered and peaceful due to a few new circumstances – turning 50, divorcing and being on my own for the first time in years (well, not necessarily alone b/c I have kids, but you know what I mean).

It’s a cleansing and a clearing out of what doesn’t fit anymore in my life.  I’m so much more at ease nowadays that it’s incredible for me.  It’s like I’m beginning to blossom a bit after being a rose bud for so long.  It’s a slow process, but it’s working for me.

Are you going to watch the eclipse?  Did you purchase the special glasses?

I didn’t get any special glasses.  I’m winging it as I’m not sure if I’m even in the path of the eclipse and I figure there will be plenty of  videos and newscasters who will show us the eclipse in all its spectacular form.  Sure, I plan on going outside to see what I see during that time.  Don’t get me wrong.  I want to be outside in nature to feel the eclipse even if I can’t see it.  And I plan on spending a little alone time as well to allow for whatever transforms through the experience.

What about you?  What are your plans for the eclipse?

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Sparkles and Praying

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How do you commemorate the first wedding anniversary after your divorce is final?  Well, you receive a text from a friend saying that every time she hears this song, she thinks of you!  When I first heard it, my eyes welled up with tears because Kesha’s lyrics are singing my song.  I hope you find strength in the words as I have!

I dedicate this song to all of you!

Recite Along With Me!

Kesha – Praying official video

Well, you almost had me fooled
Told me that I was nothing without you
Oh, but after everything you’ve done
I can thank you for how strong I have become

‘Cause you brought the flames and you put me through hell
I had to learn how to fight for myself
And we both know all the truth I could tell
I’ll just say this is “I wish you farewell”

I hope you’re somewhere prayin’, prayin’
I hope your soul is changin’, changin’
I hope you find your peace
Falling on your knees, prayin’

I’m proud of who I am
No more monsters, I can breathe again
And you said that I was done
Well, you were wrong and now the best is yet to come
‘Cause I can make it on my own
And I don’t need you, I found a strength I’ve never known
I’ll bring thunder, I’ll bring rain, oh
When I’m finished, they won’t even know your name

You brought the flames and you put me through hell
I had to learn how to fight for myself
And we both know all the truth I could tell
I’ll just say this is “I wish you farewell”

I hope you’re somewhere prayin’, prayin’
I hope your soul is changin’, changin’
I hope you find your peace
Falling on your knees, prayin’

Oh, sometimes, I pray for you at night
Someday, maybe you’ll see the light
Oh, some say, in life, you’re gonna get what you give
But some things only God can forgive

I hope you’re somewhere prayin’, prayin’
I hope your soul is changin’, changin’
I hope you find your peace
Falling on your knees, prayin’

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I Think I Need A Part-Time Job

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The rumblings in my brain won’t cease.  The to-do list swirls with items that I can’t be bothered with checking off because I know they don’t matter today.  Normally, my notebook list is crossed off and I feel good that I’ve accomplished so much.  But today, not so much.

It’s dreary here.  Raining in August which means there’s no place to go.  Sure, I could file away the tons of paperwork I have accumulated, but I don’t feel like it.  I don’t want to nap.  I don’t feel like reading.  I coulda woulda shoulda be doing something productive.

Instead I’m writing to you.  Nameless, faceless you – not even sure if anyone will even read this blog post.

I feel like I need a job.  I’d like something planned before September comes and I’m set afloat on a sea of hours while the kids are at school.  Not that I can’t find things to do then either.  It’s just that I’d like a little something to do, to feel responsible for and to maybe even earn a little bit of money.

I’ve been so busy for the past few months with the move, the divorce and all the challenges that came with it that I’ve now got down time and I don’t know how to fill it.  I know, you don’t feel sorry for me because I don’t have a 9-5 job that I hate.  You’re right.  I’m not asking for your pity.  Far from it.  I am asking for your suggestions.

I have some health problems so I can’t do anything 9-5.  I long to write and love to write.  I’m good at proof-reading and I easily pick up errors in writings.  I love to read and to create.  Sure, I could write those few books that I have swimming in the back of my head, but I need a spark to ignite me.  I keep hoping that September will bring that spark.

Until then, it’s just me, writing my blog.  Hoping that someone reads it.

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Breakout

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So, I closed the computer on yesterday’s post and I heard this song in my head.  I’m inspired, but I don’t know for what…but I’m just going with the flow.  This song always brings a smile to my face.  I guess it’s because it brings back memories of happier times, of freedom and of the hope that youth encourages.
Hop on the back of my college memories.  We were dancing with friends and singing!
Ok, well here are the lyrics so you can sing along – karaoke style!
What does this song remind you of?
Breakout
Breakout
When explanations make no sense,
When every answer’s wrong,
You’re fighting with lost confidence,
All expectations gone.
The time has come to make or break;
Move on, don’t hesitate.
Breakout, don’t stop to ask;
Now you’ve found a break to make it last.
You’ve got to find a way,
Say what you want to say; breakout.
When situations never change,
Tomorrow looks unsure,
Don’t leave your destiny to chance.
What are you waiting for?
The time has come to make or break.
Breakout, don’t stop to ask;
Now you’ve found a break to make it last.
You’ve got to find a way,
Say what you want to say; breakout.
Breakout, don’t stop to ask;
Now you’ve found a break to make it last.
You’ve got to find a way,
Say what you want to say; breakout.
Some people stop at nothing.
If you’re searching for something,
Lay down the law, shout out for more.
Breakout and shout day in and day out;
Breakout, don’t stop to ask’
Now you’ve found a break to make it last.
You’ve got to find a way,
Say what you want to say; breakout.
Don’t stop to ask;
Now you’ve found a break to make it last.
You’ve got to find a way,
Say what you want to say; breakout.
Don’t stop to ask;
Now you’ve found a break to make it last.
You’ve got to find a way,
Say what you want to say; breakout.
Songwriters: HARDIMAN, RONAN
Posted in 50 years old, divorce, finding happiness at 50, inspiration, love, women 50 | Tagged , , , , | 4 Comments