Gad Zooks

Are you familiar with the word?  Definition – Gad zooks:  an exclamation of surprise or annoyance

I don’t know how/why it popped into my head this morning, so I decided to write my post based on it.  And actually it fits because the older kid asked me the other night if his gf could sleepover this Saturday night.  Gad zooks!  I told him I’d give him my decision the next day because it was after midnight when he interrupted me watching mindless TV before bed.  Because seriously, a sleepover during quarantine?  I guess I should be grateful that he asked, but he knows better than to spring it on me without warning.

I waited all day for him to ask me again the next day, but he never did.  Then he told me that she’s coming today to visit, but just for the day.  Whew.  Although honestly, I don’t want anyone in my house.  I know it’s probably fine, but still.  We’re in the middle of a pandemic and who knows who she and her family have been in contact with!  She’s already had her nails done, her hair done and blah blah blah.  I guess I should be happy that she’s working, but then again, she’s working in a hospital and potentially bringing her germs into my house.  Sorry for the rant.

I’m proud of her job and of her, but this is my safe home.  I am careful here.  While maybe there’s nothing to worry about, I don’t need any extra aggravation in my life right now.  At least I’m saved from her wanting to sleep over because she doesn’t want to drive back to her parents’ house after dinner.

Big eye roll…rant over.  Thanks for reading.  GAD ZOOKS! LOL

 

 

 

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Love In The Time Of Covid

My single and divorced friends and I have been talking lately about dating.  While some are ready to find a nice man, others are leery of trying to date while the virus is still here.  But when’s the best time to get started?

A few are mentioning that they want to get back online to date, but I have no desire to do that.  Been there, done that and didn’t like it so that’s not my plan.

Have you been dating during the pandemic?  Are you back online dating now?  Anyone feel like sharing their experiences?  What they’ve learned from it?  I’m listening and I’m sure there are others who are interested as well.

I don’t want to online date because I don’t like it.  I’d like to meet someone or be introduced organically and not via the dating sites.  That’s just me.  But with the quarantine, it put a stop to my going out so it’s not likely I’d find someone in my living room without being online.  LOL

What’s a girl or a guy to do?

Got any advice?

Feel like sharing what you’ve experienced?

Please share away!  I’m sure there are a lot of us who would be interested.

Posted in finding happiness at 50, love | Tagged , , , | 10 Comments

Back To College?

The kids’ colleges are reopening in September.  Classes are online for a few weeks prior to opening the campus for onsite living.  It was decided they would stay there straight through to just before Thanksgiving and then send the kids home before the potential  ‘second wave of covid’ begins.

I’m not a fan of sending my kids back on campus to take classes, let alone live there because kids don’t social distance.  They just don’t.  We’ve opened the states a little bit and people went crazy so now they’re restricting again because the numbers are increasing.  Do you really think first year college freshmen away from home are going to be able to social distance?  Remember back to your first time away from home.  My guess is a big fat NO and there’s no way colleges can really control them.

And while my kids aren’t college freshmen, they are still kids and want to be with their friends.  Social distancing isn’t part of their vocabulary even though we’ve been under quarantine.  So, how’s this going to work?  How do you ‘quarantine’ kids in a dorm situation when they’re sharing rooms, bathrooms etc. without some type of supervision  keeping them apart and/or with masks on?

Additionally, there have been Coronavirus parties.  Have you heard that on the news?  Kids getting together, inviting someone who has the virus and whoever gets the virus from the party first gets money that they all paid into?  What has the world come to?

What fresh hell will we all experience when the first college campus has a pandemic outbreak of the virus that speeds through the community?  Although I try not to be fear-based, it is really concerning and these types of thoughts go through my head.  I am just hoping that they can figure out a way to all stay safe.

I’d prefer a choice in the matter as a Mom (and the woman who pays the tuition).  While I understand it would be difficult for the professors to record their classes, I think the option to either be online or on campus is warranted.  The online classes over the last few months went really well for my kids and I don’t want my kids back on campus.  But it seems I don’t have any say in the matter which is frustrating to me.

Do you know what’s going on with your kids’ schools?

Are they going back?

Have you decided anything?

Has the school let you know yet?

How do you feel about it?

Let me know!

 

 

Posted in finding happiness at 50 | Tagged , , , , | 22 Comments

A New Week Ahead!

I like the start of a new month and a new week.  Heck, I even like mornings.  Am I a rarity?  Maybe.  But there’s something that lifts me up when there’s opportunity afoot.  What will the new day/week/month bring?

I still can’t believe it’s already July.  Where has the time gone?  And yet, it feels like it’s been dragging since we’ve been in this quarantine.  Places are opening up, but people aren’t abiding by the mask rule, so I’m still staying home more than not.  While I’ve relaxed some of the meticulous cleaning, I’m still wiping down door knobs when the kids go out.

How are you doing?

I’ve got a lot of items to check off my list this week.  Some of them include paperwork that I’ve been putting off so it won’t be fun until it’s done and I can check it off my list.  I like lists because checking off an item makes me feel accomplished. LOL

Are you a list maker too?

Anyway, I better get started before I lose myself in blogging and the day flies by without me getting anything done.  I hope you all have a fabulous week!  What are your plans?

Posted in finding happiness at 50 | Tagged , , , , | 12 Comments

Getting Ready To Think About Love Signs?

I’m laughing this morning because I got a friend request from some guy whom I don’t know.  He’s extremely handsome, but of course I think he’s a fake so I won’t respond.  But it made me smile in that way…you know the one I mean?

Because it happened after the pest control guy hit on me.  Oh and as follow up, Pesty called me later on that afternoon to make an appointment and after I said hello, he said, Hi Beautiful…oh puleese.  Thank goodness I’m not one to swoon at every little thing.  I am sure I was rolling my eyes…but in a way, it made me feel that little thrill.  Because let’s face it, I’m not dating and when was the last time someone called me beautiful?  I can’t recall….

Do you know what I mean though?  I know that it means nothing for him to have been flirting with me.  In fact, it was absolutely unprofessional and in no way would I have believed him.  That being said though, there’s that little piece of me that holds hope that perhaps things are changing in my life since other similar situations have been occurring.  Like ex boyfriends from my youth reaching out recently saying they were just thinking of me.  Similar as in men flirting with me at the store and no, I’m not delusional. I know what flirting is and what it’s not.

I’m realistic.  I know who I am – single divorced Mom of 2 college kids, living in a rental, fighting with the ex for funds owed still to me and tired of the stress.  I have gained a little quarantine weight which has to come off soon, but I’m normal looking and nothing special.

However, the difference now is this:  I am comfortable with being me.  Sure, I’d like to drop some pounds, but I’m ok with who I am on the inside.  Finally…I’m at peace with me.  I like my life.  I like who I am.  So maybe that is translating out into the universe?  Who knows.  I guess time will tell.  But it does make me giggle and smile to myself.  And that’s alright with me.  I’ll take it and enjoy it for the moment.  Wouldn’t you?

 

Posted in divorce, finding happiness at 50, love | Tagged , , , , | 11 Comments

Independence Day

Don’t let the title fool you.  Although I’m happy that it’s the 4th of July, I want to talk about your Independence Day.  Your personal Independence Day.  The day you finally realized that THIS IS YOUR LIFE TO LIVE HOW YOU CHOOSE!

Have you had that a-ha moment yet?  Do you remember it?  If you feel like sharing it, please do!  I’d love to hear about it.  And if you haven’t yet felt that authentic – This is me and I’m good with being who I am – moment, then let’s get you there!

As kids we are in a family situation and either given or we choose a role in order to keep the family dynamic.  I was ‘trained’ to be the responsible one, the fixer and the peace keeper.  I didn’t know any better and that belief was firmly etched into my brain, my personality and the way I did everything.  While I did rebel a little (behind the scenes, not openly), my role was firmly planted and I have continued in that vein of being my whole life.

And while I feel comfortable in that role, it is a burden which I carry and sometimes resent if I’m being honest.  So I’ve been letting go of it in bits and pieces with my family.  It hasn’t been easy for once you’re pegged as the one to do it all, nobody likes it when you change up the game and upset the rules.  But it’s necessary and it takes courage.

I’m still on that journey, but I’ve taken the first steps which were the hardest.  Being divorced helped that Independence Day come faster and in more uncomfortable ways, but I’m grateful now.  All that I knew was swept away and the residual beliefs have been breaking off in chunks over time, leaving me to find myself – Authentically Janie.

I’m still learning about me and gaining confidence to move out of my comfort zone and to not be afraid of failure.  As a child, perfection was the standard and failure was not tolerated so I didn’t try anything that I didn’t foresee as a sure thing.  It kept me small and hidden.  Granted it was my choice, but it never felt like there was any other choice in my path that wouldn’t have had me in trouble with my family.   So yes, I had the Good Girl Syndrome and a touch of co-dependence.

But I don’t have to suck it up anymore and be anyone’s perfection except my own.  And I now enjoy my perfectly imperfect life.  I am more willing to try than not now.  While the fear of failure still lurks, it’s not as prevalent.  Not having to answer to the ex and his family has released me in ways I couldn’t have ever imagined embracing and, yes, I do embrace the freedom to be me!

Do you recall your personal Independence Day?  That realization that you only answer to yourself and/or your Higher Power?  I think it’s important for us to share our stories so that we don’t feel alone in difficult times.  This virus time period has certainly been difficult to manage for many of us.

Anyway, I wish you a safe and happy Independence Day if you’re in the US.  And if you’re elsewhere, I hope your Saturday is safe and happy too!

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Friday Favorites

This is from LA’s blog that you can find here!  I decided to make this a post and link back to her because I think you’d really like her blog!  So it’s a way of introducing you to her!

Today we celebrate Friday favorites…feel free to play along!

  1. Favorite road to travel on: highway with the beach on one side, mountains on the other if possible
  2. Favorite Animal at the Zoo: tigers because I like cats
  3. Favorite Toy as a Child: teddy bear
  4. Favorite Hair Color: blonde highlights like I have now
  5. Favorite Holiday: Christmas morning because it’s always magical to me
  6. Favorite Dish at Olive Garden;  I don’t go here so I can’t say.
  7. Favorite TV Sitcom: Two and a Half Men (the old ones with Charlie) just because they made me laugh so hard
  8. Favorite Style of Dance:  I took Ballet lessons as a child until almost 20 yrs old.  I would like to take dance lessons to learn how to shag, jitterbug etc.  Someday…
  9. Favorite Way to Travel: By plane or ship
  10. Favorite Type of Bear: Teddy 🙂

This was fun!  Please play along!  I’d love to see your responses as well!

Happy Friday!

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Broken TV

So during the middle of the quarantine, our internet starting acting up.  Internet speeds slowing ridiculously and sometimes even dropping out completely.  It came to a screeching halt during the college kids’ exams so we decided to change providers.  Because of the quarantine, they came to do the outside work, but the kids (because they’re so technically advanced) were able to do the inside job of setting us up.  They were thrilled because they’ve been bugging me for months.  So I figured it was their job to do the inside install which they did great.

Last Friday I had a technician come to install it properly (not how I had draped the cables across the walls with blue painters tape).  The worker wasn’t professional and entered my home without a mask.  I had to tell him to go put one on.  That was his first strike.

Second strike was that he left a mess with all the wires he was cutting.  How do you not take those bits and pieces with you?  He cut through the floor/carpet to get through to the basement and left all the wood chips/carpet mess there on the floor without telling me.

But his third strike was when he broke my television set in my bedroom.  The TV has sat on the same table for 2 years straight – I have the receipt and had bought it exactly 2 years ago.  I had left the room to get a different extension cord and when I returned he told me that I was lucky because the TV’s legs weren’t on correctly and when it began to fall, he had caught it.  That made no sense to me and I just looked at him.  But he continued to proclaim how he had saved the TV – blah blah blah.

I have no poker face so I’m sure I was rolling my eyes at his delusion.  I told him that the legs were on correctly and it had been there for 2 years without a problem.

Fast forward to it being plugged in and obviously he didn’t catch it because there were just weird lines all over the screen.  He proceeded to tell me he was going to get fired for breaking my TV.  Concerned, I asked him if that was true and then he laughed and told me that this was what insurance is for so he’d tell his supervisor on Monday.

When I questioned him again, he told me that if he were going to get fired over it, he’d have gone out to Walmart and bought me another one.  What a snide jerk.  Really?  And you can’t even apologize for it?  I don’t understand people.  Really, I don’t.

So now, I have chased the company every single day since Saturday (because I was too upset on Friday and it was after 5pm) and still am without a TV nor cable box in my bedroom.  Thank goodness he didn’t drop the TV in the family room too.  That one I made sure I helped him to move.

Today I finally got in touch via chat (which was a last resort) to the company and some nice person on the chat told me that s/he had escalated my issue and that I would get a call from the company today.  Let’s see what happens.

In the meantime, I’m checking prices for a new TV.  I don’t know if it’s me or if it’s the stress we’ve all been under, but I don’t want any more service people here for awhile.  I’ve had it with them.

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Has This Happened To You?

I had the pest control guy come to my house yesterday.  It was a scheduled appointment and I’ve been using the same company for three years, but I always get a different technician (is that what you call them?).  He was supposed to arrive in the afternoon, but called around 11am to see if he could come over since he was in the neighborhood and I agreed.

I hadn’t showered, but I put on some decent clothing and twisted my hair up into a clip. Yesterday was a quiet day for me, so I wasn’t in any hurry.  He arrived and began his job which included going into the basement and checking the mice baits.  I had to go with him because I wanted to make sure he checked every one of them. All went well until about halfway through when he started being really flirty with me.  I mean, really flirty which was ridiculous because I’m probably 15+ years his senior and I wasn’t thinking of him in that way at all.  And at first, I thought he was just being nice and making conversation.  But after awhile, it was clear.

It was awkward to say the least.  When I called him on it by stating the obvious – he is married – he told me that he’s in an open marriage.  I told him I’m not that type of girl.  It was so bizarre! I told a friend last night what happened and she said a similar thing happened to her with a pest control guy, but from a different company.  Do women really fall for that stuff?  Seriously?

Have you ever had a worker come to your house and hit on you?

 

Posted in Untold Stories of Isolation | Tagged , , , | 22 Comments