Mark My Words

Oh geez, I guess I’ve not heard it all. The ex told the kid that he got a concealed carry. Well, he has to take a class, but he’s got it. WHAT??? Does nobody but me think this is odd? I told the kid it was ludicrous as he doesn’t live in a high crime area and has no need to have this license. The kid laughed and said that it was because his dad wanted it. By the way, his dad also wants an AK 47. You know, that automatic rifle?

But there’s more to it. I know it. Deep in my bones. I know it. So I said to the kid, “Your dad has a whole other secret life” to which the kid looked shocked at first and then laughed. “Mom, you have such an imagination!”

But I don’t. I know things. He’s been threatened before and we had scary dudes come to the house back when we were married. Strange calls back then too. But the kids don’t remember. I do. I remember he told me that he was being threatened and had to go on a ‘business trip’ so he gave me the key to the gun box and loaded them. The kids didn’t know he had them. I kept them by my bed for a week, ready to defend my family. I slept during the day when the kids were at school so I could be awake at night. It was a long week. Luckily, nothing happened. But I don’t forget the fear, nor the fact that he kept a lot of secrets from me.

Oh, I’m so glad I’m not married to him anymore.

But this is concerning. An angry narcissist with a concealed weapon? Never a good thing. And why now? Why does he suddenly need these things? I mean, really????

There’s something going on…mark my words.

Part Deux As Promised

My kid walked away for a few minutes and I settled down after I got my heart and mouth under control after our last conversation. Allowed…that word just did it for me as it did for many of you who commented on it. Yup…allowed….as if I were under her spell. Uh…big fat NO!!!

So the reason this is coming up is because apparently the ex’s girlfriend (with whom I have no problems) was excited because he and I are supposedly “friends” – you know that saying, keep your friends close and the narcissists closer? LOL Anyway, she has been waxing poetic to the ex-MIL about how during the holidays she and her ex and his family get together still and are friendly. So that’s why the ex-MIL has the idea that I’m now ‘allowed’ to attend if I “ask” to be invited. BUT…Ask to be invited? LOL Not on her life….ever…

But the kid has it in his head that we’re all going to be a happy family. Ugh. No thank you…there was a time, long, long ago when I would have loved to have been invited, to have had us all be comfortable enough to sit down together nicely. But too much has passed, too many lies, manipulations and the deadbeat ex has happened along with having to take him back to court to pay what he owed for the kids.

Sorry I got off track. You wanted to know Part Deux…

Out of the blue, the kid comes back in for dinner and declares that he’s going to get his wife to sign a prenup when he gets married because when she cheats, he won’t have to give her half of his stuff.

My jaw dropped again. I looked at him startled because a) where did that come from? and b) was that about me???

What are you talking about?

Well Mom, I’m going to get her to sign a prenup because if she cheats, then I don’t have to give her half of everything.

Where did this come from? Why are you saying this out of the blue?

Because mostly it’s women who cheat and I’m not giving up half of my stuff to a cheating wife.

You’re not even dating anyone. Why are you thinking this? And besides, who said it’s only women who cheat?

(I know full well that this is from ex-MIL’s mouth as he wouldn’t be thinking this way) AND while I never said their dad cheated, they know I didn’t because the kids remember how devastated I was when he left. And let’s face it, they know me. And they know their dad and who he is. They saw the condoms the first weekend he moved out.

But the kid and I went toe to toe about who cheats in a marriage and who does it more. And I made sure to remind him that it wasn’t me who came home from a business trip and suddenly realized he lost his wedding ring. (true story) Can you say I wore rose-colored glasses and was blindly in love because I didn’t want my kids growing up in a divorced house? Yes, and I’m not proud of it either….the writing was on the wall…I just didn’t read it.

Men cheat. Women cheat. Cheaters and liars cheat. If you’re insinuating in some way, shape or form that I cheated, you are dead wrong and can leave this house, young man.

I’m not saying you Mom, but let’s face it. Women cheat while the guy’s at work and then all the hard work, all that he’s worked for, he has to split with her and it’s unfair.

I froze in my tracks. Not much has me speechless, but this did. This was from the mouth of the ex-MIL spouting off what she knows nothing about except from maybe Dynasty or some soap opera or her own poisoned mind.

I think you’re wrong. For the record, I wasn’t the one who cheated in our marriage And I take offense to your false accusations about your maybe to be wife. Where is this coming from?

Well, Grammie and I were talking…

I wheeled around to face him so fast as I had been putting the finishing touches on dinner.

Grammie…I purposefully let out the biggest disgusted sigh I could manage. I should have known…I threw up my hands in disgust. He was clueless to my response.

Yeah, she said…(and as he continued to drone on about the almighty Grammie and her proclamations about women, I wasn’t listening anymore. I had already tuned out fearing a heart attack from my blood pressure spiking over that (b)itch’s conversation with my son). He finally stopped and took a breath. There was silence. I wondered if he had asked me a question for I hadn’t been listening at all, so caught up in what I was going to say to him.

Well, for the record, as you well know, your dad left. I didn’t cheat. We were married for more than 20 years and your biased notions of marriage, cheating and splitting the assets upon divorce are incorrect. They are based on someone else’s erroneous thinking. I will advise you to think for yourself when you are in a relationship. And for the record, you need to have assets to protect in order to even begin to think of a prenup so you’d better start working and making some money if she has to sign a prenup and additionally, you need a girlfriend to marry.

Startled, he stood there looking at me as I had delivered my soliloquy quickly, firmly and without fanfare.

Uh, ok Mom. I was just sayin’ He was knocked off his game of spouting what Grammie had said about marriage, divorce and cheating.

We went on to have an ok dinner, but I couldn’t rest until I figured out the prenup business. Why would this be coming up? And that (b)itch knew I didn’t cheat, so what was all that about? Was the ex thinking of getting married to the new girlfriend and that’s where the prenup comes in? Because upon his parents’ death, he gets millions…but they’re not dead…

I struggled for a bit trying to figure it out and then I threw in the towel. Who the heck cares? Why waste time on the narcissist ex family? I mean really? I had to reign myself in because she was gaslighting me and taking up excess space in my brain. What’s that line – renting space in your head?

Anyway, that was Part Deux for those who were interested…the ex-MIL is a piece of work, isn’t she?

Narcissists, Butt Dialers and Manipulations, Oh My!

That’s a mouthful of a title, isn’t it? Would you like to guess to whom I’m referring? Yup, you guessed it. The ex-MIL. The one I used to refer to as Marie Barone (from Everybody Loves Raymond). The ex’s mother. I couldn’t write about this until now because I was so incredulously struck by her audacity and yet, I know she has no boundaries as a narcissist and I remember her dark side. Oh yes, I know it well – having been on the receiving end of her cruelty.

Last night she ‘butt dialed’ me at 7:30pm. I don’t know who or how you can accidentally call a number you haven’t spoken to since 2018 so often, but she does. I never answer, but the older kid saw that her name was blinking on my ringing phone. Because of the story below, he was smiling from ear to ear upon seeing it. I told him to do what he wanted as it was probably a butt dial and when he answered he would either hear her feet shuffling across a floor or she would suddenly hang up because she realized she called me. You may have intuitively heard the sarcasm in my writing voice there with realized because I think she purposefully calls me. Personally, I don’t believe it’s an accident. But that’s another story for another day. Anyhoooo….back to the story at hand…(and no, she didn’t leave a message and neither of us answered the phone).

So the older kid comes home from Grammie’s house a few days ago with a message from Grammie for me. He’s all puffed up with importance, as if it’s a message from the Queen herself.

Mom, sit down. I have something shocking to tell you. I’ve been asked to deliver this message to you.

Intrigued, I sit. One eyebrow arched in disbelief as the kid begins pacing in the kitchen in front of me, doing his best to present the message well because, clearly, this is very important to him. Ahem…he clears his throat, gearing up for the big reveal.

Mom, I’m going right to the point and then you can ask anything you want because I can’t hold back. (he’s clearly excited) Grammie was crying and saying that she missed you so much when I got to her house. (cue my inner eye roll) and she even said she had dreamed about you! (He anticipates me being elated, but he’s sorely disappointed as there’s no softening on my part, so he continues) For the last few nights! as if it made it more important. Immediately, I feel snarky inside.

Grammie said (I have to interrupt because as soon as he said that, I immediately felt a revulsion inside that was visceral – as what she says, what she demands, no longer applies to my life and it was as if the Queen had made a proclamation and my kid was delivering it to the serfs (me). He stumbles on…

Grammie said I should tell you that you are allowed to come to dinner with us at her house. (There was an explosion inside of my head that I barely was able to contain) You only need to ask to be invited. And you’re allowed to see my cousins now! (Clearly he’s now on a roll as I am desperately trying to keep my butt in the chair and not fall off, nor interrupt him) And wouldn’t it be nice to have dinner with us on the holidays and with Dad and Grammie and I asked if she’d allow your family to come…She even said that she’d be ok with Uncle and family coming too. We could be a family again! He’s practically panting with delight having delivered the message in one breath since he’s so excited.

Clearly the kid has drunk the Kool-Aid. I have to hand it to the narcissist, she’s done a whopper of a good job in snowing him because he’s ecstatic to be the messenger and his emotional enthusiasm for we can be a family again because you’re allowed to come to her house for holidays has hit a mark inside of him that obviously she was aiming for and boom – she hit spot on! He was looking at me with those puppy dog eyes expectantly thinking I would be as happy as he was. He was practically jumping for joy with anticipation! Like a kid on Christmas morning after Santa’s brought everything desired.

I picked my jaw up off of the floor and tried to keep myself calm for his sake, but there was no chance. While I didn’t want to squash the poor kid as he’s only the messenger and you don’t kill the messenger…I uttered one word.

Allowed?

Yes, Mom!! She said you’re allowed because now you and Dad are friends!

Expletives exploded in my head like the Macy’s fireworks on 4th of July. I think my eyes glazed over for a few moments until I got myself under control. I had to think for a moment before responding.

Oh my. Well, isn’t that a surprise. Bless her heart.

He’s grinning from ear to ear, thrilled that I haven’t gone full Exorcist with my head spinning ’round and ’round. Clearly unaware what the Southerners’ hidden meaning behind Bless Her Heart really is. How can she have turned my 24 year old smart son into an excited little kid who’s in full Grammie belief mode? Because she’s an incredibly powerful manipulative narcissist. He’s waiting for more of a response. I take a deep breath and try to speak gingerly.

Well, why didn’t she tell me herself?

Uh, well, she said that she could call you and tell you so that it wasn’t just me delivering the message. But she said she wasn’t sure how you’d receive the message. Why, do you want her to call you?

In my head I responded with a resounding NO, but to my kid, I couldn’t boom my voice so negatively in his direction.

Hmm…she wasn’t sure how I’d receive the message…(I let that hang in the air)…from her…(again silence). Since we haven’t talked in years...not once. Even when my Mom died. Even when I had to have open heart surgery. Even when.…I let the sentence trail off…

He’s anxious to defend her and is growing uncomfortable. This is a fight between her and me and not for him to be in the middle. I know that whatever I say, he’s going to repeat to her because she’s incredibly talented in getting people to open up to her so she can later use that to hurt them.

She can call me. If she wants to talk with me about this, I hesitate and then I can’t help myself. She can have the balls to call me herself and not send my son to deliver her message.

He looks a bit deflated. But Mom wouldn’t it be great for all of us to be together on holidays instead of you being alone? You could be with us and them!

Oh my sweet son, you are so innocent. There is so much that I feel I must leave unsaid for his sake. I have been alone for years. On the first Christmas morning after my parents died, that ex-MIL insisted my kids go there to get their presents otherwise they couldn’t have them. Just to be mean to me. So I cried by myself for hours and put up a courageous front as they left that morning because they really wanted their gifts and she was holding them for ransom.

But seriously, uh NO, I’d rather not eat with the den of snakes, thank you very much. Imagine me sitting there after YEARS of his family not even checking on me, ignoring when I had asked something important and her telling lies to my kids about me. You think I’d break bread with them? And the ex has a new girlfriend so how comfortable would that be? Seriously? Bless their fucking hearts.

I walk over to my son and hug him. Thanks for delivering the message honey. I released him and said, I’m going to take a walk…End of story.

Stay tuned for part deux.

What Would You Do?

I always find it troubling and startling how some people treat others, especially single women. I’m not trying to be bratty here or a feminist (God forbid I invoke that word), but seriously, lately it’s more rampant than normal.

For instance: a friend of mine was thinking of selling her vintage car. She put it on FB and immediately some guy (with whom she was acquaintances) wrote back saying he’d like to see it and maybe buy it. She wrote back to him and they made a time for him to see it. He comes to her house and spends three hours checking out the car. Needless to say my friend had all of the oil changes and papers ready for him to see, plus she had taken beautiful care of it. He said he wanted to buy it. They agreed on a price (she took his offer) and a future date for him to pay for said car and take custody of it.

The day before he’s supposed to pick up the car, he writes to her a long message on FB (meanwhile he has her phone number so he could have called her), letting her know that “he can’t come get the car tomorrow, but he can come the following day. Oh, and by the way, he’ll take the car, (to get it out of her way). She can keep the title and he’s going to pay it off in installments. But don’t worry, he’ll just put the car at his parent’s house. After the first month, he’ll pay half of what he owes her and then in 2 more weeks, the rest of it.” He goes on to word salad (do you know that term?) talking about how he’s about to leave for church, he’s paying for his daughter’s wedding so he’s a bit short on cash and he’s having dinner with his inlaws tonight so he can’t be in touch).

Screech to a grinding halt…can you hear the brakes squeal? Uh…no and no and no.

Would he have tried to pull that on a man? I highly doubt it. Don’t you?

So why did he think that it was ok for him to do it to her? Because she was nice to him? She took his first offer (even though it was a low ball offer). But if he set the price, then why can’t he pay it? Or gather the money during the time from the bid to the time to pay? Seriously? It’s not like it was a lot of money either. She was giving it to him for a song because she wanted it to go to a good home, to someone who would enjoy it, care for it and he seemed to be the right fit.

Until he changed the deal without warning.

So she simply wrote back: “Thanks for letting me know our deal fell through. Have a good day!” because that’s what we came up with after deliberating for awhile. I mean, seriously? What in the world?

After a few minutes, suddenly he’s calling her. She ignores it because we’re on the phone. He doesn’t leave a message, but instead writes to her again.

“Guess what?! My wife found a royalty check (supposedly he writes for a magazine) that we had forgotten so I can pay in full. I’ll be there next week so let me know when it’s a good time for you.”

So what would you do? What do you think she decided to do?

I’m Fine

It’s the kiss of death to hear someone say” I’m Fine.” At least for me because depending on how those two words are said, well, let’s just say there’s a world of difference!

Of course we’ve all probably seen those memes or comics where a wise man warns another man to watch out for when she (girlfriend/wife) says “I’m fine” because it means anything but she’s fine. I know that I’ve said I’m fine when I wasn’t. Haven’t you?

So why do we say, “I’m fine” when we aren’t. Well, speaking for myself, here are some reasons why I’ve said I’m fine when clearly I was not:

1.I’m having a hard time and don’t know how to explain it.

2 I’m overtired and just can’t be bothered.

3. I’m afraid that I will upset or anger the person asking if I tell them why I’m not fine. (Probably because I’m afraid they won’t take it right – they’ll be defensive or mad or whatever)

4. I wonder if why I’m not fine isn’t enough – in other words, I’m unsure as to how the listener will take my answer – will they poo poo it as it’s not such a big deal? Even though they’re my feelings?

5. It feels too big to explain.

6. I’m not quite sure how or what I’m feeling so I’d rather not talk about it right now.

7. I doubt the listener will understand or react the way I need them to react (which is with kindness and compassion) so I shake it all off and work hard to pretend I am really fine until I can be alone to cry.

8.I know it will cause a fight if I say what I really want to say.

9. I really am fine and am wondering why the listener got the wrong message. So then I ask them, “Are you ok?” and wait for their answer…

10. I don’t believe the listener will get it so I don’t even try.

Have you ever said, “I’m fine” when you weren’t? I feel as if a lot of people use the “I’m fine” in order to escape sharing their feelings and as I just learned it’s National Suicide Prevention Day, I’m here to tell you that not speaking up when you’re not fine not only hurts you, but others who care about you. I’ve had a few people in my life who have chosen to take their own lives and it’s been so hard on all of us who were left wondering if we could have made a difference in some way. Especially the family who live with the leftover feelings that run the gamut from guilt, blame to anger, resentment to fear, despair etc.

Please, get help if you’re feeling that way. Please, allow those who love you to help you. Please, don’t do it. We’re here for you. You are not alone. Ever. God bless.

Something for Me – Beauty Edition

Awhile back, I wrote about microblading my eyebrows. While it hurt to have it done, I am glad I did it, especially now when bushier brows are in. Luckily, it only lasts about 2 years which is fine with me because who knows what will be in fashion by then!

I will tell you that I love not having to pencil in my brows in order to make them look more fashionable. But it is a little jarring at first when you have it done if you were like me and had sparse eyebrows to begin with! That took some getting used to in the beginning.

Two weeks ago I returned to the woman who did them for a refresher because whether it’s the meds or the surgery, I needed a refresher (which you’re supposed to have anyway). She darkened my brows even more because they’d lightened up a lot since she did them. I am hoping they’ll stay the nice brown color they currently are. I guess time will tell.

I also went to a different place and got my lashes lifted and tinted. Way back in the early 90’s I used to get my lashes tinted at a little boutique beauty place. I never had a problem, but about a year after I began doing it, they got closed down because they got sued for some reason. By then I didn’t really care one way or another so I let it slide. It didn’t make as much of an impact as I’d have liked so I stopped.

But now it’s back in fashion, so I found a beauty place I used to go to back when I was married and had more money. I used to get those fake eyelashes – but the ones that looked natural. They were a lot of upkeep, but I loved them – well worth it! While I don’t have the patience nor money I once had, I decided to get my lashes tinted and lifted and I’m glad I did!

The girl Alli who used to do my eye lashes back in the day still works there so it was like old home week. And while there’s no comparison to the fake lashes that looked real, this is a good alternative that requires no upkeep on my part which is good. It lasts supposedly 8 weeks. I am not sure I got such a lift as I’d like, but with a little mascara, I can see the oomph it gives me.

I guess I was imagining it to be like the lash extensions…where they just look fantastic all the time. But it’s fine. I like it. Next on my list is the dentist and my front teeth that since the surgery are looking worse for the wear because of the bonding (I’m a tooth grinder and have broken my teeth multiple times). I went for the consultation, but I can’t have anything done until December because of the heart surgery. Who knew?

Hmm…I wonder if I can get botox again? Yes, I did that too a few times, but it didn’t make any difference. Have you ever done that?

In the meantime I’m on the lookout for a new lipstick. Any suggestions? I like mauves…they go with my skin coloring.

Starting Over

I’ve started over many times. Heck everyday is a new start, isn’t it? So what’s different about how I’m feeling today?

Well, I’m decluttering the house. There’s nobody home so it’s just me and I’m on my own schedule. Eating when I want, doing what I want when I want. It’s kinda nice to be honest. Last night I couldn’t sleep well though. I was up past 3:30am even though I’d taken a few cat naps since 1030pm. So when I woke up at 8:45am, the sun was brightly shining and well, since I had no responsibilities to anyone but me, I smiled. Responsibilities (ie kids) return tomorrow afternoon from their first dad weekend in about 6 six years so I’m going to enjoy this fully free time.

I have the music playing loudly. Nobody’s here to know. I’ve been eating all sorts of foods at crazy hours. I feel like a teenager whose parents are out of town! LOL And I’m really liking it. I had lunch yesterday at 10:30am. I may just do that today too. Because there’s nobody here to keep me regimented to a schedule and with the wacky sleep hours, who cares? It’s temporary anyway. Monday begins real life but until then…its Janie time!

My heart is still messy though and I get racing heart palpitations sometimes when I’m not really doing anything so that’s concerning. So far I haven’t passed out though while the kids were gone which is good. That’s something I really don’t need to repeat especially if I’m alone in the house so I have only been walking a little bit inside because it’s summer here and too hot to do it outside alone. I am still too weak. And I don’t like it.

But it’s Sunday Funday for me and I’m determined to enjoy it. Heck, I may even make my lunch at 10:30am a chocolate ice cream…because I CAN! LOL

I hope your day goes great too! What are you up to? Make sure you take some ‘me time’ where you can.

All Alone

I was sipping my coffee when I decided to open the computer and saw the date. It’s my wedding unanniversary. I’ll admit I was dumbstruck for a moment. Because today felt different. I am at peace. I think that’s the difference. It’s serenely quiet at my home with the kids and dog away with the ex and the ex’s girlfriend. It’s a strange feeling when usually my home is bustling and I’ll admit that last night it felt too quiet.

But this morning I’m thinking about what I can do today and for the next few days before they return. How I can do things to keep myself busy: like go get my car washed, wash the comforter on my bed, organize and straighten up the house, Last night I treated myself to dinner delivered. It was so lovely! No pots nor pans to clean up – it felt divine!

I talked with the kids while they were in the car with the ex’s GF who was driving my son’s car on their way to see their dad. My kids are very sweet and nice to her (and vice versa) so I thanked her for sharing the driving because they were in high traffic areas which my kids aren’t used to and also so there would be some form of communication between us. Because who knows if what he’s setting up is an engagement considering the supreme efforts he’s making to have them drive down together to see him. One never knows with a narc.

And how would I feel if that were to happen? Well, I don’t want him anymore so that’s not the issue. What would be the issue is the insecurity I’d feel that he was engaged while I haven’t found anyone since the divorce. And yet, I haven’t really been looking as I’ve been healing from the traumas I’ve experienced.

I think what bothers me most is this: he’s still got his parents/family and when the GF and my kids and he are together, he’s making a new family and I’m alone. That’s the crux of it.

One more layer released. I think I’ll go make my to do list….

An Interesting Evening…

Fast forward to 2 days before what would have been our wedding anniversary and the kids’ college tuition is due, a deadline that night which sets us all on edge because a) we’re talking about money and b) because kid is doing this at last minute, and the numbers that are due aren’t adding up properly.

A text exchange, first one since 2019 begins with the ex and me. I send him info as I try to unravel Financial Aid, loans, amounts that aren’t credited properly, hoping to get the numbers right, get the tuition paid and get on with my night. At first, it’s a battle to mathematically unravel this mess. We are each typing the numbers and mathematical equations of 60/40 with the word ‘agreed?’ to punctuate one’s own correctness and to agree to this and let’s be done. On both of our parts. I admit. I was doing the same thing. The competition is palpable. A never-ending result in the demise of our over 20 year marriage.

He’s got a way of getting under my skin because when he’s in the mood, which is often, he’s ready to pounce on anything that’s remotely not detailed, exacting and correct in his favor. He questions everything I say, do, am. And I feel it. Right to my bare bones and I’m triggered immediately as he’s pushing my buttons. I feel myself beginning to spin like in the old days. He’s gaslighting me.

I take a deep breath and stop. I cease texting, but he’s continuing to push. “Agreed?” “Do you not think my numbers are right?” More menacing texts come as I remain silent trying to center myself. The numbers are not adding up on my end either. At least we’re in agreement for that. So I make the bold decision and pick up the phone. (yes, I called him). We hadn’t talked since I dragged his deadbeat self through the court system a few years ago after he owed me thousands of dollars and was refusing to pay his share of the kids’ expenses according to the divorce agreement.

He answers and a wave of hyper-vigilance ensues in my head along with the surprise of how strange he sounds. I take the lead and ask him for his help in figuring out these numbers which are really frustratingly difficult and considering it’s already 10:30pm, I’m too tired to deal with the whole thing by myself. So I invite the narcissist to help with the mathematical gymnastics because that gives him something to do besides berating me. And it works. Together, let me repeat that…TOGETHER…we figure it out – at least I think we did!

Of course by the time we do this, he’s also told me that he has to pay with a credit card as he doesn’t have any money (his constant excuse but with his high paying salary, I don’t know what he spends all his money on) and the website is only allowing one payer for the entirety as I can’t figure out how to add him in order for him to pay his portion. While there’s a rebate on the financial aid part, it’s easier if it’s me who pays the whole amount as I can get the refund faster because the kid is living with me. He says that he’ll pay me back if we don’t get the refund. Sorry. But I don’t trust him. I’m playing all nicey nice, but I don’t trust him at all. So in a joking manner I make him repeat that he’ll pay me what he owes if I pay the whole thing now while on speaker in front of our son. He doesn’t find me funny, but I do. Probably because he’s bilked me out of THOUSANDS and I’m calling him out quietly. Luckily I have every confidence that the rebate will come through which is the only reason I agree to paying it up front. Well, that and the kid is having a panic attack now because this is all last minute and he’s a mess (but that’s a post for another day).

After the payment part is complete, we end up on the phone talking for another hour. That’s a post for another day, but it’s interesting to say the least. We’ve come a long way.

I’VE COME A LONG WAY…so can you if you’re the ex-wife of a narcissist. There’s hope for us to see it clearly and still be able to manage when we have to deal with them…it does get easier…you just have to know how to navigate it.