Learning To Love Myself On Valentine’s Day
It’s not the first year that I am sans ‘Valentine’ as the divorce is getting closer to being done. I am looking forward to the new beginning and tying up all the loose ends of a marriage which ended when he left years ago. I’ve been stuck in a purgatory of sorts while the separation, then divorce have dragged on interminably.
In the meantime, I have been finally thinking more about me, rather than him. Of course the kids are first and foremost, but at some point, I have to start a life for myself, even slowly taking baby steps towards being ‘single’ again. It’s hard for me to wrap my head and heart around the fact that hopefully sooner rather than later, I will be Ms. and not the Mrs. I have been for more than 20 years.
I sent Valentine cards to friends and family this year, some of whom are divorced or in the process as well. I wanted them to know that they are not alone and that Valentine’s Day is not just about romantic love, but about who we cherish in our lives. Friendships forged because of circumstances, people who support each other because we understand how it feels to have a marriage fall apart and have to pick up the pieces of a broken heart all while being strong for our kids.
I am learning to find my sparkle again, to love myself and to pat myself on the back when I’ve been ‘Ms. Fix-it’ around the house (as that was his job). When he left, my self-esteem took a huge plunge into the abyss and I’ve been treading water for so long that finally, I feel a surge of energy to pull myself out and just be me. No expectations of when I will meet someone new, I’m not looking at the moment. I just want to enjoy the flow of my new beginnings, but be in a confident place in my heart/mind/soul.
So that’s what I’m doing for Valentine’s Day this year. I bought myself some pretty flowers to brighten my day. I tried to spread sunshine and gratitude by sending simple cards to friends and family, thanking them for being so kind, supportive and loving towards me. I think a special dinner with my kids is in order (and of course, they have cards and a little bit of candy as a surprise).
I hope you have a lovely Valetine’s Day. Even if you don’t have a ‘Valentine’ enjoy the day by loving and pampering you!