My divorce lawyer asked me if I wanted to change my name back to my maiden name. When my husband and I first separated, I was practically hell bent on removing his name from me when I thought about my future after the divorce. I yearned to return to the spitfire I remembered I was back before I took his name by marriage. I spent hours trying to force myself to sign my name with my maiden name, instead of my married name, as I reasoned that since we were divorcing, I would return to who I was.
But for me, I was wrong.
Because what I failed to see at the time was that the spitfire with the maiden name had evolved into a married woman who took her husband’s last name joyfully, had children with him and now was being released from the marriage. But I wasn’t releasing who I had grown to be while in the marriage, or in the aftershocks of separation and now divorce. Sure, I get a new lease on life, a new chapter if you will, but I know me. I’m not changing who I authentically am, even with the glimpses of the younger spitfire version. I am still me, married or divorced.
Does that make sense? So I am keeping my married name which I’ve had for over 20 years. I want to remain with the same last name of my children. I’ve had friends who changed back to their maiden names upon divorce which fits them beautifully, but it just didn’t fit for me.
What about you?
Are you keeping your married name after divorce or returning to your maiden name?