Baby, Hold My Hand


I was talking with a friend this morning and I said to her, I just really want someone to hold my hand and say, Baby, I got this for a little while.  Maybe even let me curl up in his lap for a bit, heck even 20 minutes, while I rest my weary head on his broad shoulders and nestle into his chest and let all the worries and the burdens I carry be away from me for awhile.

Great image, don’t you think?

I’m not even going so far as to say he should look like Clooney or a young Robert Redford, although that might lead to something else that I wouldn’t necessarily putting out there on the blog (wink wink).  Yes, in my dreams! LOL

But I just want someone kind, loving and brave to hold me for a bit to keep all the demons away for awhile.  I’m tired of holding it all together like a big girl, a responsible parent and caretaker and a woman of the world. (ahem, that’s how I see myself at this moment, but no necessarily the truth! ha ha).

I’m not even looking for him to whisk me away and make me his Princess although I wouldn’t object if he did!  I just want a little rest.  I want stuff that I’m carrying to be put on hold, on someone else’s shoulders for awhile, and I’m even desperately only asking for 20 minutes.  How utterly sad and pathetic.

I miss who my husband once was to me and my kids.  I miss the comfort of knowing he was there to hold my hand or hold me for a bit when life was hard.  Don’t get me wrong, the man who I divorced is not that man anymore.  I don’t know who my Ex is now and any shred of the husband I once had is long gone, so I’m not missing that anymore.  I don’t want him back, so even if Ex came back and said baby, hold my hand, I’d decline.

I was reading a romance book which had a rent a hottie character in it.  You know, like the movie, The Wedding Date?  Total fluff book, but a good distraction.  I was thinking, if you could rent a date, how about renting a chest to lay your head on, no strings attached?  I’m not looking for sex right now though.  I’m just looking for connection, kindness, and peace.  After 20+ years with the same man in bed, I’m not quite ready to imagine all out sex with someone else even though, I will be truthful, the thought has crossed my mind a time or two thousand! LOL  But right now, I just want a friend to hold my hand.

I have good friends to talk with, but having been married for a long time, not that many guy friends.  I cocooned myself after he left so I didn’t get out there to meet others.  Trust was a big issue and since there was other stuff going on in my life at that time too, I didn’t have the energy to go on and get out there like so many friends advised.

I’m not a clingy girl.  I just want someone to hold me for a bit.  Does anyone know of a rent a kind-hearted man?  Because that’s what I’m looking for today.

Has anyone else felt this way?



This entry was posted in 50 years old, divorce, love and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

31 Responses to Baby, Hold My Hand

  1. BeowulfSabrina says:

    You are reading my mind…


  2. SDC says:

    It always sounds…feathery, when we put it this way. But, at the heart of it, I think a lot of people make lists in their heads and forget that we really *do* need someone to ‘protect’ us just for a while every now and then…not because we can’t handle ourselves. But, because it’s nice to have a break. I’m traditionally a ‘fixer’…and it’s awfully nice when I don’t have to be that. Or do that. And not feel weak or less. I think everyone wants that occasionally, or someone who’s capable, without being made to feel scared to ask or scared to need. It’s become such a stigma to need anything. With the constant social expectation that everyone is supposed to be this ‘strong as hell/can do it on my own’. It’s bull.


    • janieleeds says:

      Sam, I heartily agree with you. I’m a fixer myself by nature and carry more than my share of responsibilities because I’ve had to take them on because others didn’t. So I get it. I’m happy to know there are men out there who feel the same way. I applaud you truly. So if you need a hand to hold from far away, I’m here. I agree. It’s BS to have to be the strong one all the time – men or women. We’re human. We need connections and kindness and sometimes we just need a hug for a few minutes. I like how you put it – feathery. You’re right.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. roseelaineblog says:

    I wish I could find you the man of your dreams but life is not that simple. It’s all about timing, meanwhile enjoy your single life and remember to treat yourself often. 🌹


  4. This is a hard one, because we all need some tlc sometimes, I wish I had a good answer for you. Try to think of something else that will bring you peace and comfort….a self soothing mechanism so to speak….if I get something better I’ll tell you


  5. K E Garland says:

    Awww I know it’s not at all what you asked for, plus it’s digital and I’m a woman, but hey lol
    Seriously though, I’d read about a place where you could pay someone to cuddle with. I want to say it was either China or Japan.


    • K E Garland says:

      Oh my virtual hug didn’t show up! Maybe because I had it in brackets? Either way…I’d sent a virtual hug…reading what I’ve written might make more sense now.


      • janieleeds says:

        Thanks again for the virtual hug! I understand completely and appreciate your kindness! I think hugs are underrated – we all need a little heartfelt hug every now and again, just to be connected. Thank you! Big hugs back to you too!


    • janieleeds says:

      I’m giggling…I have seen that same thing somewhere too! But I accept all hugs and send a hug back to you too! Thank you for thinking of me. I hope you have a lovely day!


  6. MoJo says:

    Wait – so are you saying that there was a point in time when Robert Redford looked young?!? 😂


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