I was talking with a friend this morning and I said to her, I just really want someone to hold my hand and say, Baby, I got this for a little while. Maybe even let me curl up in his lap for a bit, heck even 20 minutes, while I rest my weary head on his broad shoulders and nestle into his chest and let all the worries and the burdens I carry be away from me for awhile.
Great image, don’t you think?
I’m not even going so far as to say he should look like Clooney or a young Robert Redford, although that might lead to something else that I wouldn’t necessarily putting out there on the blog (wink wink). Yes, in my dreams! LOL
But I just want someone kind, loving and brave to hold me for a bit to keep all the demons away for awhile. I’m tired of holding it all together like a big girl, a responsible parent and caretaker and a woman of the world. (ahem, that’s how I see myself at this moment, but no necessarily the truth! ha ha).
I’m not even looking for him to whisk me away and make me his Princess although I wouldn’t object if he did! I just want a little rest. I want stuff that I’m carrying to be put on hold, on someone else’s shoulders for awhile, and I’m even desperately only asking for 20 minutes. How utterly sad and pathetic.
I miss who my husband once was to me and my kids. I miss the comfort of knowing he was there to hold my hand or hold me for a bit when life was hard. Don’t get me wrong, the man who I divorced is not that man anymore. I don’t know who my Ex is now and any shred of the husband I once had is long gone, so I’m not missing that anymore. I don’t want him back, so even if Ex came back and said baby, hold my hand, I’d decline.
I was reading a romance book which had a rent a hottie character in it. You know, like the movie, The Wedding Date? Total fluff book, but a good distraction. I was thinking, if you could rent a date, how about renting a chest to lay your head on, no strings attached? I’m not looking for sex right now though. I’m just looking for connection, kindness, and peace. After 20+ years with the same man in bed, I’m not quite ready to imagine all out sex with someone else even though, I will be truthful, the thought has crossed my mind a time or two thousand! LOL But right now, I just want a friend to hold my hand.
I have good friends to talk with, but having been married for a long time, not that many guy friends. I cocooned myself after he left so I didn’t get out there to meet others. Trust was a big issue and since there was other stuff going on in my life at that time too, I didn’t have the energy to go on and get out there like so many friends advised.
I’m not a clingy girl. I just want someone to hold me for a bit. Does anyone know of a rent a kind-hearted man? Because that’s what I’m looking for today.
Has anyone else felt this way?