This song touches me every time I hear it. I could write you all the lyrics here because to me, they are all so meaningful in different ways during certain passages in my life with people. But that would be redundant, so please just watch the video if you want. ♥
Authentically 50 means dropping the mask and being me without fear. Being brave as the song beseeches. Telling the truth and letting my words be anything but empty. That’s the whole reason I write this blog.
It’s hard when you drop the mask of a perfect life. On the outside, we had it all when I was married (or at least for years it looked like it). But when the bloom was off the rose, the underbelly of dissent was evident. It’s only now, years down the road that I can see clearly without too much angst that his leaving was the best thing that ever happened to me (besides birthing my kids). It’s so strange to have been married for 20+ years to a man you don’t even recognize anymore – not physically, mentally nor emotionally. I often wonder how that happened?
I wasn’t brave, I’ll admit. Sure, I asked him what was going on, asked that we try harder to connect, but I think he was long gone in his head. It is only years later when I look back in hindsight that I see this truth. The one that I had blinded my own self to because I didn’t want to be brave. Because I feared it.
I remember once telling him that I didn’t like who I was with him. It shocked me as it came out of my mouth and certainly threw him for a loop as well. Even though my own mask on the outside was tilted, I threw it off right then and there, hoping for reciprocation and possible resolution. I had loved his essence for years, but his mask stayed on, moving forward with more cement than I’d ever witnessed before that moment. Our connection was lost.
Be brave. Be authentically, wonderfully, unique you. Don’t squash yourself for someone else. It’s not worth it, even if you think you’re keeping the peace. You’re not. You’re just holding off the inevitable changes that are to come.
Say what you want to say and let the words fall out, honestly. I want to see you be brave.