So my kid is pledging a fraternity and this week is the infamous hell week. I check in everyday with him via texting and sometimes phone calls just to make sure that he’s ok. With the Penn State horror of last year, I worry. How can I not? That poor family trusted that their son would be fine and he died horribly during pledging. My heart just can’t grasp how one gets over that grief. I can’t even begin to go there in my mind and I pray daily that I will never experience that situation. I send piles of love to that family all the time, especially now when my own kid is dealing with hell week.
I liken divorce to hell week, even though it’s not the same and the time it takes from separation to divorce and beyond takes way longer than a week. If you’ve experienced a divorce, I’m sure you know and you have stories to tell about what you dealt with as your marriage crumbled, divorce ensued and then the fallout from the divorce continued on into your new chapter on the road of reality.
While some divorces may go smoothly, others do not. There’s a rearrangement in all facets of our lives when we go through a divorce. Our worlds are turned upside down and it takes time to regain our centeredness. At least that’s been the way it has evolved for me. Has it been the same for you?
I’ll be glad when hell week is over for my kid as even though there are bumps in my own reality now, the essential hell week is over for me too. I’ve been picking up the pieces of my tattered life for awhile and the reality is that I’m grateful for the divorce now. I can see the good that has come out of the divorce and even though I mourned that I no longer had a partner, I am the matriarch of a healthy, loving family of 3 which means more to me than life itself.