Single Parents Unite!

singleparentsunite

Ever since I got divorced (and even before that official decree), I was mostly a single parent even though I was married.  Let’s face it, as the kids got older, it was more me than him because I was home and he traveled for work at times.  Then, when he disconnected, it was just me.

I’ve gotten used to it, as parenting is a joy for me and I love being Momma Bear to my kids.  But there are times now, that when something goes wrong, there’s no spouse to turn to because if you’ve been following my posts, you know that he’s vacated the parenting piece, much to the kids and my disappointment.

So the other day, I had a little issue with one of the kids.  It was a minor thing, but I needed clarification.  I needed to bounce the subject off on someone else, to vent a little and to come up with a solution before the kid returned home from school.  So, I called my trusty friend Coco who is a divorced mom herself.

We’ve been doing this more frequently as time passes which helps us both.  To know that you can trust a friend to listen as you navigate the sometimes turbulent waters of parenting helps and I’m really grateful for our friendship.

It’s true.  Sometimes it takes a village to help raise kids.  And when the family village runs away, you need to find a new village to listen, to advise and to be your friend.  Lucky for me, I’ve found a new village of single divorced parents who gladly help!  We throw out an issue and we return with solutions, all different kinds from the zany, wouldn’t you really like to say x to your kids? (but you won’t) to calming us down before we talk with the kids to lay down the law in a firm, but kind manner.

Being fair to the kids is key because they’re hurting too.  Sure, if it were a major issue, I would have contacted the Ex, but everyday parenting is mine alone which I’m ok with since it’s not to messy.  I was never one of those moms who said wait until your father gets home.  I was hands on, dealt with the situation myself and then let him know what was going on when he got home which worked for us when we were married.

If you’re a single parent, tell me how you do it?  Do you have a friend with whom you can discuss what’s going on or do you do it all alone?  How do you prefer it?

 

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9 Responses to Single Parents Unite!

  1. TJ Fox says:

    I was only ever a single mom until OC was around 2, so all my single parenting issues dealt with baby and toddler stuff. It is really hard doing a lot of that on your own, but it is a different beast than parenting tiny adults that are trying to stretch their wings.

    Parenting now as part of a couple, there are times I realize that it might actually be easier to do as a single only because two people do not always agree on what is the best method of dealing with issues. For Hubby and I, that is rare, but it does still happen, usually in the most surprising ways. Anyway, just kind of a flip side perspective.

    Liked by 1 person

    • janieleeds says:

      Single parenting babies – I remember those days of no sleep. I’m impressed you did it alone! Thanks for the flip side perspective. I hadn’t thought of it, but you’re right! Glad you and hubby agree for the most part! That’s awesome!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. bone&silver says:

    I’m glad you can reach out to other Mums. When my son was aged 4-10, and his Dad and I really weren’t getting along or agreeing on how to raise him (he’d re-married fast), a single Dad and I agreed to be each other’s ‘best friends’, and give the alternative view as the opposite sex parent. It was so helpful! Plus we had a pact that we could ring each other and completely vent about how terrible our kids were being and how much we hated them if we needed to; that was also helpful. We do indeed need a village, and need to create it ourselves, so well done to you, G

    Liked by 2 people

  3. fyidivorce says:

    Having support from friends and family is critical. I have a few people I reach out to for their opinion. I have two kids under 5.

    Liked by 1 person

    • janieleeds says:

      Oh wow! You have such young ones! I am sure they keep you on your toes! Keep up the great work and I’m glad you have support from friends and family! I’d listen too if you ever needed another virtual friend! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Yes having various parents to talk to is very helpful. I reach out when it gets too hard and always appreciate having a different perspective or some reinforcement that I’m on the right track.

    Liked by 1 person

    • janieleeds says:

      It’s a great community when you have that ability to trust others to listen and to have your back when it comes to making parenting decisions that maybe aren’t easy…or to laugh at the funny stuff that happens!

      Liked by 2 people

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