Ever since I got divorced (and even before that official decree), I was mostly a single parent even though I was married. Let’s face it, as the kids got older, it was more me than him because I was home and he traveled for work at times. Then, when he disconnected, it was just me.
I’ve gotten used to it, as parenting is a joy for me and I love being Momma Bear to my kids. But there are times now, that when something goes wrong, there’s no spouse to turn to because if you’ve been following my posts, you know that he’s vacated the parenting piece, much to the kids and my disappointment.
So the other day, I had a little issue with one of the kids. It was a minor thing, but I needed clarification. I needed to bounce the subject off on someone else, to vent a little and to come up with a solution before the kid returned home from school. So, I called my trusty friend Coco who is a divorced mom herself.
We’ve been doing this more frequently as time passes which helps us both. To know that you can trust a friend to listen as you navigate the sometimes turbulent waters of parenting helps and I’m really grateful for our friendship.
It’s true. Sometimes it takes a village to help raise kids. And when the family village runs away, you need to find a new village to listen, to advise and to be your friend. Lucky for me, I’ve found a new village of single divorced parents who gladly help! We throw out an issue and we return with solutions, all different kinds from the zany, wouldn’t you really like to say x to your kids? (but you won’t) to calming us down before we talk with the kids to lay down the law in a firm, but kind manner.
Being fair to the kids is key because they’re hurting too. Sure, if it were a major issue, I would have contacted the Ex, but everyday parenting is mine alone which I’m ok with since it’s not to messy. I was never one of those moms who said wait until your father gets home. I was hands on, dealt with the situation myself and then let him know what was going on when he got home which worked for us when we were married.
If you’re a single parent, tell me how you do it? Do you have a friend with whom you can discuss what’s going on or do you do it all alone? How do you prefer it?