What We Learned This Christmas

Thank you all for reading and commenting on yesterday’s post.  It helped me so much to write and to vent in a safe place so that I could process what was going on from all different levels.  In the aftermath of the Christmas firestorm, I’m grateful to share that peace has found its inherent level here.  What has torn at the remnants of relationships has borne a freedom inside of me – back to the innate centeredness of rejoicing in being authentically me!

You see, the kids dubbed this the worst Christmas on record.  Even yesterday was not what they wanted to happen and yet, we survived.  We made it through the sometimes unsavory experiences by bonding which only made us a stronger family.  At the helm of the family unit, I raised the peace flag and like a broken record, repeated that together we can do all things with kindness and love in our hearts.  And, pat on the back, we made it through with grace, with dignity and as a family unit of three.

I am proud of my actions.  I found my happy mommy place where I was able to overcome the despair, anger and hurt that my kids were feeling and support them fully without ugly feelings about ex’s family antics.  Foremost in my head was the reminder that they kids needed to vent and let out their feelings about the situation and then process it with healing.  As their mom, it is my responsibility to find the good when they could only see the bad and to help them to begin to heal their broken hearts into a place of acceptance for what they deemed unacceptable.  I want them to have a good relationship with their dad and his family.  I want them to understand that we are all human, we make mistakes, we are all doing the best we can at that moment and that they all love them in their own ways.  I want them to find peace in their hearts, to forgive by understanding his family’s motives and to learn how to deal with the situation from a place of grace, dignity and love.  It was a monstrous task, but it was so well worth it.

I made a difference, a positive difference in how they saw their relationships.  To love is to accept the unacceptable at times, to see beyond the masks of neediness of others (and ourselves) and to hold steady in our own peace.  While they likened it to a whirlwind weekend of boxing lessons, quick punches, jabs and diversions that they experienced, it all came back to them returning to our home, where peace reigns, where love is abundant and where feeling the freedom of speech, of sharing feelings and of knowing you are loved was key.

I’m grateful to be that home for them, that peace and understanding, and to be able to give them the stability needed for them to grow into the men I know they inherently are.  While I would have loved to have sheltered them from those lessons, I know that life lessons grow us in ways we cannot fathom at the time and only increase our understanding of people and the world around us.  At the precipice of adulthood, they stand now centered and bonded together in ways that I could not have manufactured myself.  Family is sacred and flourishes when healthy relationships abound.

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13 Responses to What We Learned This Christmas

  1. Home should be all of those things. What a blessing that you have each other to talk to, listen to, love, accept and understand.
    I think about my students when we go on breaks, especially during this time of the year. My wish is that their home is a safe place in every sense of the word as it is in your home.
    I am happy to know you have that.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. That’s very sweet. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Create Space says:

    Your children are amazing and will be even more so thanks to the challenging experiences they are going through. You are holding a safe spot for them to process all this…one great mum Janie!


  4. cheers to self discovery and you being better and stronger every day

    Liked by 1 person

  5. SDC says:

    So happy to see you raising emotionally intelligent children and keeping open communication about these things that are SO difficult for kids who are in such a difficult spot to navigate.


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