What Are Your New Year’s Plans?

whatareyournewyearsplans

Onward and upwards my friends!  I’ve spent the last few years alone on New Year’s Eve as my kids were always with my ex and his family at a family party to which I was excluded.  I have to say, I liked having that night to myself because I used it as a reset button to herald the new year with the intentions I wanted to bring to my life.  A glass of champagne, take out dinner (usually it was Chinese) and I was golden.  Really.

This year will be different.  Ex lied and kids are with me (he made up some story that the kids said I was having a party and they wanted to stay with me).  Unbeknownst to him, the kids told me that he told them that he’d let me have them this year to be nice.  But to his family, he lied and said I asked for the kids so they wouldn’t be at his family’s party.  Lies, like chickens come home to roost, so I’m not worried.  The truth will come out.  The kids already know he’s lied because he wanted to spend the night with his girlfriend.  Which by the way, they are ok with, but they are angry that he just didn’t tell the truth.  But then they are seeing that he’s uncomfortable with the truth, so he lies.   Sad story, but not my problem.

Anyway,….

What are you planning for New Year’s Eve?  Will you be alone?  With friends and family?  Do you have a party to attend?  A lovely couple’s night planned?  Are you going out?  Staying in?  Tell me all about it!

After the kids said they were staying with me, I thought about having a small open house to herald the new year and inviting the kids’ friends and families over if they wanted to stop by.  But now my kids have parties to go to so I think I will be chauffeur mom that night which is tough.  But it’s fine because I’m Mom and that’s what Mom’s does.  But I will miss my champagne and not worrying about driving someone else around.  Oh well.

This is a new year for me.  First New Year’s Eve formally divorced (even though we’ve been split up for years).  I’m kinda excited.  Wondering what delights 2018 has in store for me?!

I remember the first New Year’s Eve I spent alone.  Ex had left me months earlier and my first holiday alone yawned before me.  My friend called me and talked with me for a long time that night as she was divorced and alone that night too.  Having experienced a few holidays alone herself, her wise advice to me was:

It’s just another night.  If you can look at it like that, you will have peace.  Take the night for what it is, a night to relax, and to enjoy yourself in the peacefulness of your home.  Rest and rejuvenate because the kids will be back tomorrow.  Don’t let them know you were crying and having a sad night.  Don’t burden them with that.  Use it as a healing night.  You can do this and I did.  And so can you.

 ♥

 

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15 Responses to What Are Your New Year’s Plans?

  1. I am not sure yet what I’m doing. I’ll keep you posted. 🙂

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  2. Mischenko says:

    I’m so sorry that the kids have to deal with lies from their dad, but they’re probably learning from the experience. I went through it and the more it happened, the farther away from my dad I wanted to be. It was bad. I hope things get easier as time goes on, but it’s his loss, imo. Kids don’t stay kids forever! Sorry for being so opinionated, just my thoughts.

    I wish you the best New Year, Janie. Best wishes in 2018! 💗 Much love!

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    • janieleeds says:

      Mischenko, your words ring so true! That’s what’s happening to my kids and their relationship with their dad is theirs alone. I am only here to listen and to advise when possible. I agree that ex is missing out which is sad for him and for the kids. I am grateful that I have them with me and we are a family. I’m sorry you experienced this too. I wish you a great 2018! Much love to you! xo

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Mischenko says:

    Oh, and we are staying home on New Year’s Eve! 😊👍😉

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  4. BeowulfSabrina says:

    A friend who knew us both invited me for an early NYEve open house. It’s in walking distance, so I’m going to go even though I really don’t want to but I refuse to let his toxic actions sadden me or ruin the end and start of a new beautiful year. He tricked me again!!! I’m not sure why I feel like I deserved in some way to be the recipient of his disordered cruelty, but it must end. I am not anyone’s punching bag nor scapegoat. I played that role far too long. I was somehow again vulnerable to pretty words but he wanted something from me and when he didn’t get it, when his pretty words didn’t have the same effect they used to, he disappeared. I own my part of the dance; the kind and hopeful one, the one who looks for good in all, but it can’t continue to be at my expense. Happy New 2018 to us all.

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  5. Jamie, I read your posts with interest. I like the way you have developed over the last year. I wish I could say I have grown to the same extent… however, I have started to grow, but we are each and everyone of us a work in progress, and it takes time.
    This year I am for the first time spending New Year’s eve alone with my youngest son, as his older brother is going out with friends. It feels a little sad but we are going out to eat and then to the cinema, and we will toast the New year in at home.. he impresses me every day with his strength and maturity and I give thanks for my kids who keep me strong and stop me standing still.
    Have a brilliant 2018.. keep moving forward.
    Stephanie

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    • janieleeds says:

      Stephanie, I am proud of you for growth as you are right, we all are a work in progress. I wish you healing in 2018. I love that you and your youngest son had a lovely night together and had a chance to bond. We all need that time with each kid I think. I am like you, I give thanks for my kids all the time. Sending you big hugs for a 2018 filled with all the best for you and your kids. I’m here if you need a friend. xo

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  6. TJ Fox says:

    NYE is a family night here. We have a long tradition of playing games and watching movies, eating all kinds of awesome finger food type things. It is just us and the kids and has been for a while.

    At one point, we used to do a huge thing at my parents with my brothers, with all of us staying the night, but like so many things, it became such a mess and I just wanted to be at home. The kids were overjoyed when we started doing it at home with just us (first time was because of bad weather and we just kept to it after that). It is one of those things that, looking back, should have helped to make so much of the rest make sense, but I didn’t see it at the time.

    Yesterday, Hubby and I went and did our shopping for our dinner tomorrow. Since his dad always gets us movies as part of our gifts every year, we have lots to choose from. So, I will be sitting by the fire, snuggled in watching movies and eating way too much food. When midnight rolls around, we will take a break to ring in the new year, listening to see if our crazy neighbor saved one of his massive fireworks from the 4th of July to light off.

    Find some time around your chauffeuring to do something nourishing for yourself. Your kids are finding their fun and happiness, so should you!

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    • janieleeds says:

      Thanks TJ! It was a lovely night alone for awhile while the kids went out and then I picked them up and we sat around and talked until 3am! Yikes! I’m not used to being up so late! But we bonded which was great. I love that you have family night with games and dinner together! You’re such a great Mom and so glad you found a hubby to match your heart! Did you see fireworks?? I love that you were able to transition from your family’s tradition to making New Year’s Eve YOUR family tradition! Keep up the great work! xoxo

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      • TJ Fox says:

        We saw what looked like our neighbor lighting something off some time around 9:30 but we were engrossed in a movie and didn’t watch. Must have only been one small thing as it didn’t last long. It was lots of fun though. Kids had fun this year sending texts to their friends at midnight.

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      • janieleeds says:

        Excellent! Successful night for you YAY! So happy to hear it!

        Liked by 1 person

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