One Slip Up

Ok, I’ve got to be honest here.  Today, on Day 7, I slipped and had one.  It didn’t even taste good and I have guilt over it.  At any point while I was smoking, I could have stopped, but I didn’t.  I don’t know why I didn’t stop because I didn’t even enjoy it.  And DARN, I made it almost a full week before succumbing.  I made it through the whining voice and there wasn’t even any whining voice when I chose to do it.  It was just anxiety and a lot of sad feelings that made me step outside.

I hate that this happened.  I’ve been beating myself up over it for the last hour and so I thought I’d rather just say it and be done.  Move on.  Take the guilt and maybe not being perfect will help someone else who is struggling.

Because it’s an addiction and it’s hard to beat, but I am determined.  My emotions have been all over the place today for really no reason except maybe just the stress of quitting.  Who knows.  But what’s the protocol here?  Do I have to start over with Day One again?  What’s the consensus?

Anyway, thanks for reading.  Sorry to disappoint myself, my kids (although maybe they won’t find out) and my friends here.  At least it was only one slip up and now that I have such a yucky taste in my mouth, hopefully I’ll remember that and not slip up again.

Fingers crossed.

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14 Responses to One Slip Up

  1. May the Lord give you strength. I’m glad that when we fall down, He can pick us back up.

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  2. I was told by my specialist last week that I had to seriously change my lifestyle, that means eating differently. It’s not a day by day thing it’s a for life thing.

    Now I’m human I have up and down emotions, who doesn’t, I’ve had a couple of slip ups and eaten a biscuit but I’m not berating myself. So why are you?

    Giving up smoking is a lifestyle choice, a choice you have made to improve your health. Tomorrow is another day, stop counting the days and accept your lifestyle choice. 🌹

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    • janieleeds says:

      Thanks Elaine! I appreciate you. I’m sorry you have to change your eating habits. Yuck. Please don’t tell me you have to give up chocolate! That would be awful. It’s funny you should mention biscuits.. Do you mean cookies or actual biscuits? Just wondering because my mouth just watered thinking of actual biscuits…I haven’t thought of them in ages. Don’t beat yourself up either…funny how we can say that to others and mean it sincerely, but to myself, it’s like time to beat up Janie for not being perfect. ♥

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  3. Kiersten says:

    Nobody’s perfect all the time. Fighting your demons is hard. (I’m terrible at it.) The best thing to do is to forgive yourself and keep going. You’re not a failure because you slipped up. One slip up is still better than a lifetime of cigarettes. You’re doing the best you can. Don’t beat yourself up. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  4. bone&silver says:

    It’s ok. You’re still a bloody legend for trying. I’m glad it tasted bad- that’s always how they taste, but your mouth goes numb to it when you’re a regular smoker. So now you really can see that one of your smoking triggers is anxiety and sadness: so what plan can we make to help you deal with the triggers next time they arise (which of course they will)? Write something down, and put it on your fridge. Maybe ring a friend? Do a ranting blog post? Pick a fav song and have a dance around the kitchen? Keep it up! G xO

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    • janieleeds says:

      Thank you! I may turn to blogging because that made me feel so much better. I’m sorry to say that because it means I may write more about the quitting aspect. However, I love your ideas though and I’m going to try each one!! Maybe my journey helps to motivate someone else as well? I feel your support and I really appreciate you! xoxo

      Liked by 1 person

  5. Sandy says:

    Don’t beat yourself up over it. It is hard enough to try and get over an addict and there will be slip-ups but with time, you will be able to over it.

    Liked by 1 person

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