I’m Just Browsing

I had a really interesting conversation on the phone with the handyman who just did some work on my house.  I know he’s divorced and his kids are older than mine.  He’s not my typical type, but then I don’t know what my type is anymore.   I mean, I’ve always gone for the dark-haired, a little rugged yet refined men (yes, there’s such a thing!) and I’ll admit that when I look at men my age, I’m not impressed.  A guy who’s 35 is more likely to turn my head which is a problem because I’m 50 and those guys aren’t looking back at me!  But that’s the truth.  I have to shift my thinking to my own age group because I know I don’t look like a hot 35 year old either!  The weird thing is that because I was married for over two decades, I wasn’t really looking at men like that and after he left, I didn’t care about men or dating, but now I’m feeling like I want to look around a bit.

And I’ll admit…I’m having fun!

It’s like having a whole new lease on life as I’m finally at peace with my situation.  It took me a long time to be ok with the whole thing.  Way longer than I had ever anticipated, but I’m just happy I’m at peace finally.

So back to the handyman.  He’s a nice guy and honestly if he asked me to meet him for a burger and a beer, I’d go.  I don’t know if he’s even interested or if I am, but I will say that I like the way he thinks.  I like that the past life experiences that he shared with me make him a deeper thinker and someone who gets that ego isn’t more important than humanity no matter what that page in the macho book of masculinity declares!  I know, that was a sexist remark, but seriously.  Having been with a narcissistic, ego-driven, superficial man for years who ran away from feelings, from being vulnerable and from empathy and compassion, to hear this handyman talk this way was so refreshing – and I told him that!

Because I’m looking for a man who gets it.  Plain and Simple.  He gets that working hard and earning a good income are important, but so is being kind, connecting with people and enjoying life’s precious moments.

I’d like to find a guy who wants to casually hang out, maybe go to a movie, grab a bite to eat and talk about life.  Is that so hard?  I’m not looking for anything else yet.  I’m starting with small expectations to see where life takes me.

But until my first official/unofficial date…I’m just browsing!



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5 Responses to I’m Just Browsing

  1. Create Space says:

    BJanie, browsing always pays off and have fun in the meantime!!


  2. You do bring back memories Janie. When I split up after 27 years I joined a group of girls (women) and we found that our heads were focused on younger men too because mentally we were locked in that time warp. We didn’t feel older if that makes sense.

    Beware the young men who want a cougar ( older woman for those who don’t know) lol. What I found and a few of my friends too was the next serious relationship we had was with someone completely different to our previous partners. They were older, not as good looking, very caring and loving too. Somehow, without meaning to sound disrespectful these men were a stepping stone

    It’s a well known that divorced men date younger and divorced women usually date older.

    Older is better in my opinion because they have usually found themselves and don’t have anything to prove.
    Beware judging a book by its cover


    • janieleeds says:

      Elaine, thank you for your sage advice. It is like we are stuck in a time warp with attraction. My friends and I were just talking about that! You are so right! I would prefer someone who has been around the proverbial block and has experience and kindness over just a pretty/handsome face! LOL I hope you have a lovely holiday! 🙂 Thanks for always being here for me. xo

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Pingback: Ways To Fill Your Free Time After Divorce | Authentically 50 ~ Embracing Life's Changes

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