How do you refer to the spouse you’re divorced from?
I was talking with someone new the other day and he told me that he doesn’t use the word ‘ex’ when referring to his ex-wife. He says, my former wife. I admit that part of me was stunned because I’d never heard anyone else use that term. Have you?
He explained it this way: I don’t like ex because there’s a negative connotation to it. Exes are never really talked about in a good light and we were together for a long time. It’s not that I want to be with her. We’ve been divorced for over 20 years and we don’t ever want to be back together. We are only friends so I use the term former wife.
Do you find it an interesting term too? Would you use former spouse when referring to your ex? Do you see the negative in the term ex as opposed to former? Have you ever heard that term before? I haven’t. It made me think he had a present wife as well, but when I asked, he said he didn’t.
I kinda like it to be honest. Even though I never want to get back with mine, I like the good energetic feeling when I say former husband instead of ex husband. I tried it out and said both words aloud. Ex husband sounds crankier and although he can make me plenty cranky, why should I let him? Why not be all zen about it and refer to him as former?
So I am contemplating going with this new flow and saying former husband instead of ex husband. I just think there’s no gauntlet anymore so why not allow myself some peace and put him where he belongs…in my past.
What do you think of when you hear the term former spouse?