I Found My Authentic Self Again

Recently I took care of myself in a way in which I hadn’t since the separation and subsequent divorce, nor the time that passed after the divorce was official.  It has been a long journey as anyone who has walked this path knows.  It’s an unfolding of what once was, to what is, to what is possible for the future.  Like the unfurling of a red carpet which says, here is your future.  Do you dare to step onto the red carpet and walk into the unknown?

And so, with courage and great trepidation, I stepped onto the red carpet, quite literally and began my journey.  I am so grateful to have been accompanied as I first took my tentative steps towards finding my authentic self after so many years of feeling lost without her.

By synchronicity and perhaps the Universe’s knowledge that I needed to be reminded of who I truly was and who I am and who I have become through life’s lessons, I was given the opportunity to return to my past and to a life I once lived many decades ago in a place faraway from where I presently live.  Embraced by the culture, the people, the food, the air and the sights, not to mention friends from decades ago with whom I lost touch, I found that kernel of authentic me which had been hidden by the layers of years and distance.

Healing comes at her own pace, but comes when we open our arms to her embrace and I did just that!  I loved me without encumbrance and reveled in my loving core of self.  I shared those precious moments with friends whom I once knew and with a man who has always held a piece of my heart even though our lives are separate.

Feeling completely and utterly at home in a foreign place may not feel right to you, but to me, the salve which healed my wounds was completed there.  I went back home to a place, like Cheers, where they knew my name.  They knew me, the true me who I was before marriage, children, responsibilities and divorce.  What a precious gift that I gave myself and that these loving friends gave to me.  They lifted my soul, my energy, my being to spectacular heights and showed me that way of living which I once revered but had forgotten.

My soul fragment which I had left behind, along with my heart to a man who loved me and who I loved so completely is restored.  While bittersweet that we live far apart, both in our own worlds and cannot change that fact, but for just a little while, we met in his where we knew love so long ago and enjoyed each other’s company.

I went home again to me.

 

 

This entry was posted in divorce, finding happiness at 50, inspiration, love, women 50 and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to I Found My Authentic Self Again

  1. I love this and am so proud of you! Strangely enough, when I was visiting Angel Boys, my DIL and I were planning a trip when I am finally able to do so. And I had no idea that’s where you were! What a lovely journey you had inside and out. xxxx

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