He scooped me up in his arms and held me close. His scent was so familiar to me, even though it had been decades since we had been together. As we spent time together, it was as natural as it had been before between us. We fit together, like hand in glove.
He welcomed me back into his world and when I left it yet again, the memories stayed in my heart, mind and soul. For him however, he’s left with the physical reminders by the places we visited, the friends we saw together, the music we listened to – still there, trapped in his world. I wonder if his friends are asking about me. I wonder if when he hears that song does he remember how we were driving together, both quietly singing companionably through the mountains? When he finds the toothbrush he lent me that night by his sink, has he thrown it away without thought? And when he washed the pajamas he lent me to wear, did he lift them to catch a whiff of my perfume before washing them? And did he remember when I slept so peacefully in his arms only to wake him as the sun rose over the sea and I gasped at the beauty of the serenity and accidentally woke him up? Does he display the beautiful clock I gave him before I left? Did he hold onto the card that I wrote to him that said that the clock was a gift for him to remind him of the happy hours we spent together and how he would always retain a portion of my heart there with him?
Because for me, there are no physical reminders of him here. At times, he feels like the dream that repeated itself over the years in which I returned to see him (except now I really have). I took few photos for we were completely in the moment when we were together. Being with him during that short period of time was so precious to me that I didn’t want to waste a moment of not being with him.
Of course, now I wish I had a photo of the two of us together. Neither of us really ever thought of it – or at least I didn’t. I was simply content to be with him. I don’t know what’s easier, to be physically reminded or to be bereft of any physical reminders of a soul love who isn’t by your side.