Friends have been telling me lately that it’s good to see me back to myself. It’s strange honestly because I don’t think I’ve changed. Ok, well, maybe I’m a little more outgoing than I was before when I holed up while I was grieving my broken heart and marriage. But it’s more than that they’ve insisted and when they try to explain, without hurting my feelings, it gets complicated.
Bottom line, consistently said:
You’re getting back to the girl we knew.
What an eye-opener! I have to say that I visibly gulped after hearing it the first time. After the second and third times of welcome back to you! my eyes opened wide and I was grateful that these friends had stayed with me through the mess and were here supporting me with love. Welcoming back the happy me I once was.
But it made me think because I never felt like I was unhappy in my marriage until the end. I think we really did have some good years together, but after awhile, it wasn’t good. It just wasn’t and even though I didn’t want to face it and I had ever hopeful dreams that things would get better. But they never did. I am grateful that my former husband had the courage to leave because I wouldn’t have ever left him.
But now, years down the road, long, hard tough years of working on myself, I am grateful that he’s out of my life and I have left the forest where I’d lost myself in a marriage that wasn’t healthy. I am regaining myself again and smiling and laughing again. Freedom is sweet, even though it’s a little lonely. But better to be alone and single than lonely in a marriage.
Don’t you agree?