An Open Letter To Divorced Dads Before Mother’s Day

It’s Mother’s Day tomorrow if you didn’t already know.  Let me remind you that it’s time for you to reach out to your own Moms and to say thank you and perhaps even I love you, if that’s how you feel.  For motherhood is a never-ending job.  No matter how old you are, your Mom is your Mom.  No matter how old she is, acknowledgement on her day is respectful.  Because without your Mom birthing you, you wouldn’t be here.

And if you’re divorced and have kids, then to your Baby Momma, you owe some acknowledgment as well.  I know that in a divorce, relationships are skewed and sometimes things are not good between you and the mother of your children.  I understand, but this is a time to set an example for your children as to how to be respectful and to be a role model for them.

I’m not saying it was all your fault for the divorce.  I have no idea, nor do I care.  As for me, I think that what happens between two people is what makes or breaks any relationship.  And that has little to do with the kids.  But your attitude on Mother’s Day towards their Mom has a lot to do with your kids.

No matter how mad you are or how hurt you are, please set it aside tomorrow.  This is your kid’s Mom’s Day.  In a perfect world, I would love it if you were to get a card for her and have the kids sign it.  It’s important that they remember how to respectfully treat the woman who birthed them.  It’s also important for your sons and daughters to know that divorced men can be respectful towards the mother of their kids.  Does that make sense?

You don’t want your sons to potentially disrespect women and their own Mom, do you?  Or for your daughters to think it’s ok that they don’t respect their own Mom or that it’s right that their Baby Daddy doesn’t respect them potentially in the future, do you?

I know that some of you may read my post and say that I don’t understand.  You’ll complain that your ex-wife did this and that and doesn’t merit the respect.  Ok.  You may be right.  But you’re not doing it for her necessarily, are you?

You’re taking the higher road and being a role model for your kids.  You’re showing them that the woman who gave birth to them with your help (because you’re their Dad) is respected and that you are a man who respects women.

Or maybe you’re not and that’s a whole other issue that I can’t even go into today.  Because it’s not about you or her or what happened between you.  It’s about the kids and showing them how to treat their parents and on Mother’s Day, their Mom.  Your turn will come in another month and I sure hope that she will be as respectful towards you as well.

I’m not respected by my former husband.  Before you ask, I’ll tell you that I used to send him a card from the kids on Father’s Day, but after not having it be acknowledged, I stopped.  But I did role model for the boys to respect their Dad.  I honestly don’t regret it because I didn’t do it for him.  I did it for my kids.  That’s what parenting is all about, isn’t it?  Kids come first.  We teach them by our example.

Well, if you’re still reading this post, I want to thank you for taking the time to read my thoughts on the subject.  I’m willing to read what you feel about it if you want to share below.  And if you don’t, I just hope that maybe my post made sense to you.  I’m not throwing you under the bus.  I just gave my kids money to buy a card for me and for my former husband’s mother because I know he won’t do that and even though it’s not my family anymore, I believe that respect is respect and I can’t help but be who I am.

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11 Responses to An Open Letter To Divorced Dads Before Mother’s Day

  1. bone&silver says:

    Yes! I am so with you on this, and I did the same thing for my son’s new step mum when he was little, to smooth the waters for him. Step up Dads! Check your ego and model respect ✊

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I couldn’t agree more. That is one thing I have always done…shown my ex-wife respect and especially on Mother’s Day. Yeah, we went through a bunch of crap and yet because of the love we did share we have two children. My son needs to understand how to treat women and my daughter needs to watch her dad treat her mom with respect.

    Great post!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Pingback: Text Message Received | Authentically 50 ~ Embracing Life's Changes

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