Moms without a partner, whether you’re divorced, separated, widowed or never married, my hat is off to you today! You deserve a medal of honor for what you’ve accomplished by continuing to strive to be the BEST MOMMY AND MUM EVER to your kids! I know the sacrifices you’ve experienced, the hard times, the worried days and nights that you’ve had to deal with and all the immense blessings that have come from being a Mom.
Being a divorced mom myself, I know the hard times that we’ve had and I remember when I had a husband with whom I shared the responsibilities of parenting. While it was easier when I was married to parent my kids, now that it’s all my responsibility because of the way life turned out for us, I feel for you, like I feel for myself.
But there’s a blessing in being a Mom, that for me, feels like a priceless treasure that no amount of money can give me. When my kids and their friends call me Mama or Mommy, my heart fills with gratitude and an outpouring of love that no other love can match. Knowing that I birthed these amazing beings brings me such joy and makes everything, every sacrifice, every worried moment, every extra nuance of work all worth while for me. My kids’ love is what sustains me, what keeps me trying my best at every turn, even when I feel lousy.
When I want to throw in the towel and let the grief overtake me, it is to them that I align myself because I never want them to experience more pain in their lives and if I can help it, I vowed the days I had both of them, that I would not have them hurt by me.
Of course, the divorce hurt them irrevocably and for that, I feel shame and guilt. But they know that their dad chose to leave and they are old enough to understand that he left me and not them, even though sometimes it feels like they have been left by him as well. I guess sometimes it’s just the nature of the beast in a divorce.
Recently, one of my kids was really upset and depressed. Because of the divorce, our dynamic has changed for the better. We are a trinity of beings here in our home. We respect each other, take care of each other and look out for each other. I am blessed to have been able to create this atmosphere in our home. We’re solidly connected, and at any moment, we all know we are here for each other. Through thick and through thin, we are a family of three.
It’s not been easy to pick up the pieces of my broken heart, nor to hide my suffering from my divorce from my kids and if you ask them, they would probably tell you that I didn’t hide it well. But their suffering broke me and it was because they didn’t deserve to suffer from the divorce that I was able to hold on and to overcome my sadness or at least, do my best to hide it away as best I could.
Kids don’t need to suffer from a divorce. They’re not the reason a divorce occurs between two parents usually. They are the innocents who suffer from a pair of people who can’t make it work. That always breaks my heart and I can’t change it. It is what it is in our lives and after so much time, we have healed from that time in our lives.
So to all the Moms out there, I salute you! I am inspired by you! I hold you in the highest regard! Please accept my admiration for a job that never ends and is probably the hardest job you’ll ever have in this lifetime, as a job well done! Yay YOU!