Matching Online

A friend came over the other night.  She wanted me to help her set up her profile on that Match dating site because I’m a little more computer savvy than she is.  So what the heck?  Sure, I’ll help you.  It ended up being a fun night.  We had some wine, some Chinese food and we set her up on Match.

She’s a little older than I am, engaged once, broke it off in her twenties and has been dating on and off since then but with no long term success.  She’s been online dating for a few years so she’s got way more experience than I do.

But I was dumbstruck as she shared some of her experiences.  I have to admit that I was a little intrigued with the whole thing, but also very wary.  I’m not sure if I have tough enough skin to look for love online.  While some of her stories amused me, others made me sad and angry and even afraid.

At one point, we were talking about how it was so much easier when we were in our twenties to date.  I sound like an old geezer, don’t I?  Back in my day, blah blah blah.  Ha!  But seriously, I think it was easier when we were younger because back then, we were all on a level playing field.  There wasn’t social media so you met people in person, through friends, at college or at work.  We partied more back then because we didn’t have kids to take care of or more adult responsibilities.  We were more carefree and for me, I thought the world was my oyster.  And I really enjoyed myself.

Now however, life is really different – or is it?  Sure I could still go out to bars, but I’m 50ish and most of my friends are married so we don’t do that sort of thing.  Occasionally we will have a girls night out, but it’s dinner at a restaurant, a glass of wine and back home to take care of the kids.  There’s no dancing or clubbing because we’d be laughed out of there.

So what’s a girl to do?

Once I accepted I was divorced and would be free to find love again (fingers crossed), I felt as if a past love and I would reconnect.  And as you can see here, that did happen a little bit.  But one’s faraway and the other’s married (and I have no desire to involve myself with him, especially because he’s married), so I am waiting to see if the end of May brings another one from my past.  But I’m not so sure I’d even want any of them anyway.

I’m ok to be on my own for a bit longer.  I like my own company and my freedom.  But it would be nice if a friend of a friend would introduce me to someone special.  I’ve let friends know I am ready to venture out, but nothing has come of it so far.

Thanks for reading and letting me chat with you.  I feel like there are many of us out there who are looking for a connection and not a one night stand.

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12 Responses to Matching Online

  1. BeowulfSabrina says:

    I’ve thought about setting up a dating service with OUR type of criteria, to vett potential matches rather than just taking a chance with another potential personality disorder. I don’t really have an answer as the last thing I think about right now is dating. Getting through this next hurdle is my main focus.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. That’s why I don’t do dating sites. It seems to be all about sex and not actually getting to know the person. I have a friend who was on dating sites before and it floored me and upset me to no end the comments or pictures sent to her. So demeaning

    Liked by 2 people

  3. We lost the real meaning of connection and getting to know other people. This generation is all about sexual relations, Tinder, Match, ugh. I want to go back to the old days.

    Liked by 3 people

  4. I tried a dating site and had minimal good results. God was gracious to bring the right person at the right time.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. I met my husband through a dating site, the secret is choosing the right site for what you’re looking for. If it’s a site that you have to pay a subscription I found that they were not just looking for a brief fling. Dating sites are a great way to meet other singles and make friends or more. You just have to be sensible and not allow fantasy take over. 🌹

    Liked by 2 people

    • janieleeds says:

      Thanks Elaine! How wonderful that you found each other online! Congrats to you! I haven’t done it, but maybe someday. I’ll keep you in the loop in case I need any pointers if you don’t mind! ♥

      Liked by 1 person

  6. TJ Fox says:

    I met Hubby through an online dating site way back when a lot of people still thought only creepy, serial killer types used those things. I will say, like in all my other RL experience, there were a lot of creeps I had to weed through to get to him, but I really actually loved the experience because I got the chance to really get to know him as a person before we ever met or really got a good chance to see each other in person. And he did for me as well, which was a HUGE factor for me at the time. I KNEW he was interested in me as a person and not for any other reason. We spent hours and hours either chatting online or on the phone before we ever agreed to meet and that worked so well for us. When we did finally meet in person, it all felt so natural and as though we’d always know each other. It isn’t for everyone and I’m certain the landscape of online dating has changed drastically since I did it, but I don’t think I’d ever do it any differently if I were forced to need to date at this late stage in my life.


    • janieleeds says:

      TJ thank you for sharing! Wow! What an amazing story – you’d be a glowing positive review for online dating. I think the trick is you have to find the right man to be communicating with and not the creeps. I’m really happy for you!!

      Liked by 1 person

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