So what’s my plan before the school festivities begin and I have to be in the same place as my former husband and his family for my kid’s celebration? What was your plan when it happened to you? I would love to hear any of your experiences before mine comes if you want to share. Please. I could use a friend if you’ve been in a similar situation.
My plan is to DROP THE MIC. In other words, it’s to be myself, to greet them cordially and to move on. If anyone tries to be less than cordial, I walk away with dignity. I will not engage in anything other than pleasantries (even though this will be hard). And if he (former husband) begins with anger or suddenly wants to discuss all that he’s not answered, I will tell him: This is not the time nor the place for this discussion. You may call me later or answer my emails in writing. Period. And drop the mic and walk away. He will probably be flabbergasted because that’s not our prior relationship pattern, but it is now.
That tidbit of advice that a friend offered me feels like a supportive mantra to get me through the anxiety of having to pretend we are all feeling pleasant about being thrust together for the sake of our kids and for the superficiality of other people watching the exchange.
While he will have his family around him, I will be alone which makes it harder for me. But I know I can summon my strength to survive this encounter as well. I want to surrender to the Universe and allow whatever will be to be and know that however the encounter is packaged, I can remain calm and at peace and enjoy the celebration with my kids. I can do this myself. I know I can. I just have to remember that I’m ok. I’m really ok. And so are you.
P.S. I’m planning on getting my hair done and I have an outfit picked out that makes me feel confident and happy. So at least outer me will look as good as she can! Vain? Nah. But just doing what I can to feel more comfortable in the situation. I’m doing it for me.