I admit. I’m done. The towel’s not thrown totally in, but I’m tired and fed up. Single mom to two kids with a narcissistic former husband who manipulates and walks away from what he’s required to do by law is getting on my last nerve. And I’ve been stressed for far too long about the whole situation.
So you know what I’ve done?
Stopped. I stopped fixing his mess ups. I have told the kids that I no longer clean up the messes that he leaves in his wake. I am not responsible for his bad choices because I’ve been divorced now for over a year. I have been burned by helping him. I’ve been disrespected by his non-communication. I am in debt because he refuses to pay what he owes me for the kids. And he has shown zero gratitude for my saving his ass and his credit rating multiple times.
I have taken the high road at every turn. But I have washed my hands of anything that has to do with him, even when it comes to the kids. I will help the kids, but if it has anything to do with their dad, I have told them that I will advise, but I will not lift a finger to help. I know it puts them in a hard position, but it’s not my problem. It’s his and unfortunately, in turn, sometimes theirs.
They’re not little and it’s time for them to realize who he is. They’re getting burned by him lately and it’s sad to witness. But I believe they need to see him for who he is without me trying to protect them at every turn.
Former husbands with NPD with whom you still have to communicate isn’t an easy road. I have the utmost sympathy for us all. Maybe you’ve been in a similar spot?