Anger And The Single Parent

Anger raised its ugly fist this weekend at our house.  I had to stay centered as chaos swirled around us.  Thank God I wasn’t the direct reason for the anger because it was freaking tense here and that’s an understatement.

I just kept telling myself to do what I could while the kids were listening and to allow them time alone to process it.  That letting go was soooo hard!  As a parent, I’m sure you get it.  I felt like we were in a tornado.  Sure, you may think I’m exaggerating, but seriously, it was that bad.

While there was no violence, the seething anger felt like it had an evil power all of its own.  I had felt it encroaching for awhile, but it blew up in mind-boggling proportions.  And of course, the fallout and healing is all on me, not on the one who has caused the escalated anger.

But as any single parent knows, it’s not easy.  We get caught up in that anger whirlwind because our story is similar.   I just kept reminding myself to not cross my story with the kids’ story because that would make an even bigger mess out of the situation.  This was about the kids and not me.

That’s when I had to bite my freaking tongue and I’m proud to say that I did.  But my tongue hurts today and has a real dent in it because I really did bite my tongue!

Dealing with it head on was what we needed.  That’s what drove me to shut my mouth and to listen and let them vent in whatever way they could.  Then I offered suggestions.  Afterwards, I let them be alone which was really hard, but they needed time to think about it.  I was always relieved when they returned to the great room to continue to talk or to give me the silent treatment.  Either way, I figured their presence was a start to healing.  So I thanked them for returning.  I felt like that was a step in the right direction.  And I watched for an opportunity to reach out to hug them because I know that helps.  Relieved, I can report that hugs were finally accepted.

Best part was by the end of the weekend, it was agreed that we will go to group therapy.  Big applause!

I woke up this morning feeling like we’d survived a nasty hurricane.  Everyone is talking even though it’s tentative.  They hugged me before they left the house today for work which was good.  Small steps.  And if I know anything, the storm will come again until they process out all of the emotions.  So I know this isn’t one and done.

But if what we experienced shows us anything, I hope it’s that together we can help each other to heal.  We are a family of three and we need to communicate even when it’s hard.  Sure, somebody can heal alone, but it’s easier, better, faster and more enjoyable when we do it together.

Have you had any similar experiences at your house?

 

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13 Responses to Anger And The Single Parent

  1. LA says:

    You will get through all this. I think the counseling is a great idea. Hugs!!

    Like

  2. Sandy says:

    I think group therapy is a very good idea and with all in agreement, I believe it will help all of you out a great deal.

    Like

  3. Dwight says:

    You are forever tied together with love. It might get messy, but keep the faith.

    Like

    • janieleeds says:

      Thank you Dwight. We are tied with love and bonded by sharing the experiences. They are my flesh and blood as they are their father’s. That will never change nor will my choice to aid their healing and understanding and acceptance in loving people for who they are. Thanks for stopping by and for your kind comment.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Hello friend. I just read your post. I saw that you wrote “thank God”, so I would imagine that you believe in God. I would suggest that you pray and hold unto God at this point in time. You need to pray. God can, and he will restore peace and joy into your home. The plan of the devil is for confusion to abound everywhere, but that is not God’s plan for you. I suggest that you take the issue to God in prayer, and I am confident that he will be moved to act in your favor. Stay strong and remain blessed.

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Being a parent is as stressful as Living single. Worry always stick to everyone. Emotions is another struggle, and so with knowledge. But the goodness in God is a revelation. Very interesting to know that I suggest you dig of Him, when uncontrolled situations happens in you, like I do. Let’s be strong together.

    Liked by 1 person

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