I’ve found that time either softens people or hardens them. Have you found that too? When we’ve been dealt hard experiences, I think there’s a choice to be made – let the experiences harden us or find forgiveness and move forward. For me, I choose to not be hardened by the experiences that I’ve been dealt. I don’t want to be a wizened up old crotchety woman who’s bitter. I want to be a fluid, loving, youthful (maybe only in my mind because I’m beyond 50 now) woman.
And so, I’m working on me. Working on forgiveness. I still hold that tender underbelly of vulnerability, the heart on my sleeve, the sensitive nature that is innate in me. I won’t be who I’m not authentically – and that’s who I am. So resolutely, I am holding my own – opening my arms out fully to embrace whatever comes my way.
I don’t want to be huddled in a ball somewhere licking my wounded heart alone. I have a lot to offer this world even though I am sometimes shy and wonder who will ever take the time to see the real me. Maybe there won’t be a special someone in my future. Maybe I’m meant to live alone, but spend my time helping others. But somehow, there’s a little hopeful flame that burns quietly saying that I know, there’s someone out there for me, a connection which will bond us, even if only for a short time.
And so I smile through tears. I get up every morning with appreciation for a new day on which I reach out to grasp the sunshine. I hope the light and love which sparkle inside of me, shine enough from within so that you can see the glow as well. A pink hum of kindness, of love, of experience and of appreciation for the whole package which is my lifetime, my legacy, my being, my soulfulness.
Who knows what tomorrow may bring? So today, as I sip my coffee in the quiet of the dawn, with peace and calm surrounding me, kids fast asleep dreaming of (hopefully) sugarplums, I breathe in the morning light and the hope for a beautiful day ahead. May yours be as well, filled with blessings.