Be An Observer

If you’re thinking that my advice to be an observer in your life story with the narcissists is hooey, I understand.  It wasn’t until I understood what it meant that I realized what a great tool it is to healing.

We get so entwined in our story that we are blinded.  We become depressed and are in a bad place.  We can’t get out, no matter what our friends say to us or advise us to do.  What helped me?  Being an observer.

A friend who had heard my sorry tale one day asked me to listen and repeated back to me my own story.  She asked me for advice as to how we could help ‘her friend’ who was having trouble.  She changed the story a bit, but it was mine.  And as I listened, I heard my own story from a different perspective and the spark inside of me ignited.  The silent treatment, the criticism, the ugliness was apparent when I wasn’t living it myself and instead, hearing what ‘another woman’ was experiencing.  The light bulb went off and while I had a hard time standing up for myself, I had no problem seeing ‘her friend’s’ issues.  I guess sometimes we just have to get out of our own way.

And be an observer.

This entry was posted in divorce, finding happiness at 50, inspiration and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

11 Responses to Be An Observer

  1. Great advice, I wish you had been around when I was going through it! I always say to anyone with a problem, just step outside yourself and ask yourself what you would advise others to do 😉 Your blog is very helpful 🌹

    Like

  2. Create Space says:

    Hi Janie, That’s a powerful share! Hope you have been keeping well.

    Like

  3. Pingback: Where Do I Go From Here With The Narcissist? | Authentically 50 ~ Embracing Life's Changes

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s