Few people agree with me that turning 50 was a great milestone. A lot of my friends are bemoaning middle age, but not me. I changed the way I looked at my life. I chose to look at turning 50 as opening a new blank book of possibility and putting to bed my past life. Because I got divorced after more than twenty years of marriage.
Don’t get me wrong, I never wanted to divorce and I wasn’t happy about being a single mom of two kids, financially strapped with no help, tossed by the wayside by my former husband and his family. But after awhile, I pulled up my big girl panties and decided TO LIVE instead of being downtrodden.
Nothing changed except my attitude.
I’m still a single mom, still financially strapped, but I’m not helpless. Fifty gave me freedom to live my life without bullsh*t. And it feels delicious in a way, like eating decadent chocolate that melts on your tongue.
#Fifty and Forward!
It’s like I turned a corner that I’d been waiting for my whole life and I’m so appreciative of the support I’ve gotten here by blogging. It’s refreshing to know that people care, even when your real life family doesn’t. But then, I’ve known this all along. I just couldn’t face the facts of their narcissism among other things.
For me, turning 50 is like being reborn. I can be whomever I want. Try out a new bohemian look or go preppy. Maybe dye my hair pink or be a platinum blonde. What I mean is that for once in my life, let me repeat, finally in my life, there’s no one to please but myself. But then again, you probably knew that all along and I’m just finally dropping the sandbags loaded with those truth beliefs that weren’t so very true, but were very much believed by me.
I only have to please me. (Can you hear the chorus of applause?)
It was a startling revelation for me. Freedom which was terrifying to me has now turned into a gal pal who nudges me to enjoy life. It’s refreshing. It’s silly. It’s authentically me finding me and I like it. I’m not tied down to someone else’s rules or beliefs. I have my own. What’s important to me is to put my head on that pillow every night with peace and joy in my heart while during the day, I strive to be the best person I can be.
I think my kids are learning that too which is interesting. I’m not saying that I am unwilling to compromise or put someone else’s needs above my own from time to time in order to help them. I’m not saying that I believe in being selfish.
I just believe that I am meant to blossom – to be the best person I can be – to take care of my children, myself and my loved ones who need me and anyone else for that matter, to the best of my ability – to be at peace in my heart and to feel love, gratitude and kindness every single day.
What do you think about that?