How many times have we gotten caught up in the – but I have to do X or if I don’t do Y, nobody will or Z should be completed on time and nobody but me has remembered.
I carry heavy mountains like a lot of people. The weight of the world and the pressure of being a single divorced Mom wears me down sometimes. Because I’m an uber responsible adult and my brain tries to stay ahead of the proverbial game. Why you may ask? Because it’s how I am innately. I can’t help myself.
My brain whirs with: If X happens, then I can do Y or Z plan if needed. Ok, now I can rest because I’ve thought of a strategy in case something fails. I know it’s not the spiritual way to live and I’ve been working on changing my tune because carrying these mountains is breaking me down lately. I’m falling apart for all sorts of reasons that I can’t say here. But let’s just say that there are financial problems beyond my control that are blowing up all over my world and my frustration levels are exceedingly high because of them.
Sure I could be all Zen about it. Let the Universe come to save me – yay! But that hasn’t happened yet. And unfortunately, due to someone else’s neglectful bad choices, I’m having a hard time trusting that Universe and certainly I don’t trust the negligent individual who has caused this mess from which I can’t seem to extricate myself even though we are divorced.
So can you please send me some good vibrations? I put a couple of bucks down on a lottery ticket with prayers a plenty just in case that Universe needs an opportunity to deliver a nice windfall.
What’s that tag line? You only need a dollar and a dream? Well, I went for it. Wish me luck and maybe if you could, some peace. That would be a priceless windfall – peace – that would be even better than cash.