The other day I realized it would have been our wedding anniversary. Well, I guess I should call it my unniversary since I am divorced over a year now. I wonder if my former husband even realized the date. I wonder what he would have thought if he had remembered it.
I no longer mourn the loss of him in my life. It’s been over four years since that fateful day when he told me I don’t want to do this anymore.. Four years later and my life has changed irrevocably. In some ways it’s evolved to be even better than I imagined and in others, it’s taken me time to process the acceptance of this new freedom.
But I don’t look back anymore. I am grateful for what’s happened (because who wants to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you??), but it’s taken me ages to accept it and authentically feel ok with the whole thing that went down between us.
I remember being over the moon in excitement to marry him. That young girl was so naive as to what was to come years down the road. And I am happy she was so naive. Because who the heck would have wanted to know the pain and suffering that was to be the end of your marriage?
I’m grateful I have two kids out of it. They’re good, kind, loving and we have bonded in ways we probably wouldn’t have had the opportunity to bond if he hadn’t left.
Do you think of your unniversary too? How do you feel about it?