Empty Nester Saturday

I woke up this morning when a friend called at 9am.  I couldn’t believe the time!  When was the last time I slept this late?  I didn’t want her to know, so I cleared my throat and cheerily answered.  I don’t think she was the wiser!  LOL  I grabbed a cup of coffee and we chatted for about an hour, catching up on our lives.

Later, I sat outside for a bit and enjoyed the cool breeze sipping my coffee and scrolling through emails on my phone.  It was perfect fall weather, sweatshirt and sweatpants on with no plans – and a quiet house.

The day is yawning before me.  I could clean the house.  I could decorate for fall.  I could put away the laundry that has been sitting on the dryer for two days.  But honestly, I don’t know what I want to do, so I sat down to write to you.  Because it’s a little lonely here being an empty nester and a single mom.

There I said it.  I’m a little lonely.

I know I could call people to see if we could make plans and maybe get out of the house.  I could go to the grocery store and walk the aisles (which I sometimes do) just to get out with people and see who I bump into at the store.  But I feel like I just have to sit with the feeling of change and find the peace within.

So that’s what I’m doing for now, writing to make sense of how I’m feeling.  I know I’m wasting a beautiful fall day outside sitting inside typing away to you, never even knowing if you’re reading this post and that’s ok.  I’m thinking that maybe someday this post will feel familiar to another empty nester single mom when she’s feeling lonely.

Because I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels this way.  Do you feel this way sometimes?  Thanks for reading.  I hope you have a great day wherever you are!

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34 Responses to Empty Nester Saturday

  1. You can always call me 24/7 🙂
    My east coast princess sister…

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  2. Silence and an empty nest takes a bit of getting used to. You my lovely friend are so used to serving everyone else, if you are anything like I was you went with the flow of what everyone else wanted to do 😉

    Suddenly you have all this time to do just what you want to do! You could go to the gym 🤢 lol . Why don’t you write a list of all different things and see which one jumps out at you 😃 Then again you could boost your morale by joining a dating website 😳 it does pass time on . Otherwise you are stuck with the rest of us who like you don’t know what to do with ourselves 🌹😉

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Sandy says:

    Yes, it came be lonely. This morning I got up and starting cleaning house and doing laundry. While doing so, I would take breaks and sit outside while reading blogs and commenting. I actually still am. I am so behind on reading blogs I follow and hope to catch up soon. It’s a beautiful day!

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  4. Inbarbsworld says:

    Good for you for sleeping in. That’s what Saturday is for. xx

    It sounds like you are embracing each moment, which is how these quiet moments are best used. In the moments the quiet is really loud, I run out to a couple of my favorite shops, or meet a friend for coffee. Fall is a beautiful time to walk through shops and see the decor.

    I’m beginning to acknowledge the years I gave my daughter, and am starting to see this as my time. Sit and write about how you feel. I’m sure there are several of us that can relate. xxx

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  5. Create Space says:

    Janie, I still have one of my children at home and my other half for company and I still feel lonely. Sometimes I’m delighted to have my other child out in the world of college and I silently do a happy dance but other times the loss hits me. One minute they are 9 and need us, next they are 19 and gone! You have had a lot of change to cope with. Be kind to yourself, write a to do list, a list of goals, a list of treats. Keep writing and sharing.

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    • janieleeds says:

      Thank you Marie for reading and for writing back. Thanks for sharing too. I think it was just a low moment of loss, of change, of transition that hit home. When I am feeling low, I need to write. I appreciate your kindness.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Create Space says:

        Janie, you’re welcome & I hope you are feeling better today. The low moments can strike when we are least expecting it…after all we have been so busy and so wrapped up in loving our children that we lose ourselves in the process…now in a way it’s exciting as we get a new chance to find ourselves all over again!! Virtual hug. X

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      • janieleeds says:

        Thank you for the virtual hug and understanding Marie. It’s appreciated more than you know. Virtual hugs back to you! xo

        Liked by 1 person

  6. Your empty nest syndrome is much like how I feel. My ex and me share custody of our son. So one week I have him, than the ex, so on and so forth. I use to feel lost on the weeks that my son was not with me. I mean what/who am I without him being around? I mean I am a mom. But than I slowly began to realize this is my time. I get to be me. Relearn about me. I still get lonely but at the same time, I really like the experience of determining who I am without my son. Being someone other than this mom figure. I wish you luck in finding a happy balance. (By the way, the shared custody has been going on for 2 1/2 years. Prob took me about a year before I was able to be okay with ‘not being a mom 100% of the time.)

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  7. Hey 👋🏻 where are you, come backkkkkkk 😉

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  8. Dwight says:

    Here’s something I came across that I’m starting to work on during those lonely times – become friendly with the present moment.

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    • janieleeds says:

      I agree with you Dwight! I do try to do that, but sometimes it’s harder than it feels. Does that make sense? Any advice on how to do it????

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      • Dwight says:

        You probably didn’t want to hear all these ramblings but here goes…
        It’s just like any friendship.
        I start by creating a space where I can sit with Now.
        I invite and welcome it with a heartful smile and deep breath of joy.
        I give it my only attention.
        I’m not on my phone or watching tv.
        I’m not thinking about what happened yesterday or the fears I have for tomorrow.
        I embrace the Now with a hug like seeing a long lost friend.
        I listen. I don’t speak.
        When thoughts try to drag me away I focus back on now.
        I tell Now how appreciative I am for her and site all I’m thankful that she provides.
        I start seeing Now between all the forms. She’s the glue. She’s the magic dust.
        I recognize the quality of Now. How it is. How it just is. How it is perfect because it just “is”.
        I try to take Now with me wherever I go and with whatever I’m doing.
        I look up to Now and take my next steps recognizing Now and wanting to put forth this loving quality in everything I do.
        Step by step, day by day, become Friendly to the Present Moment carries me.
        It helps me find my I AM and I start seeing more light in my life.
        For me, small steps focused on the now will take care of the future to the point when I look back at the Past I will smile.
        For many years I lived in the past or the future and not in the now. It was like I was never taught how to do this.
        More like the opposite especially when it comes to the media machine and how most of us have been brought up…fear and worry, fear and worry. The ego keeps us distracted for sure!
        Those 6 words – Become friendly to the Present Moment – struck a note within. I’m going to play it inside to the outside!

        *I read about this in the book, A New Earth – Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose by Eckhart Tolle.

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      • janieleeds says:

        Wow Dwight! Thank you! I would love to do this and you’ve given me the steps. Ok, that’s my goal this week. I will keep in touch and let you know when I try it. I really appreciate your help. And you’re wrong – I did want to hear the ramblings and learn about how to be in the NOW. Thank you!! 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

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