Holding Hands In Friendship

Yesterday, I was thinking about a guy that I knew long ago.  He is a twin and we were friendly with some of the same people. (By the way, he’s gay so don’t go there).  But I was thinking about the times when people just did something so unexpectedly kind and how much it touched me.

We were at a funeral and we hadn’t seen each other in years.  Not that we were ever close, but we were always friendly and had many friends in common.  In fact, the funeral was for the mother of our mutual friend.  I was married, but my then husband didn’t come to the funeral, so I went alone.  Adam went with his twin brother (who brought his wife), so he was kind of alone too.

I remember getting out of the car at the cemetery.  I had seen some people I knew at the church, but I hadn’t had a chance to talk with anyone.  As I turned to close the door of the car, Adam appeared.  We embraced and made some small talk.  As we began walking over to the graveside, he just took my hand.  I was surprised and stopped.  We looked at each other and he smiled at me.  Then he squeezed my hand and continued walking.  So I did the same – I squeezed his hand and kept walking in companionship.

I have often wondered why he did it.  I also wondered what others thought when they saw us.  I had been close with the mom of our friend, so I felt like Adam was being kind by being with me because I was a little teary.  Years later, I remembered that he hadn’t ‘come out’ to many people who attended that funeral and maybe he found me to be an easy friend to look like we were friendlier than we really were.  Briefly I wondered what others may have thought to see us holding hands by the graveside.  But those that knew us, knew I was happily married and also that he hadn’t quite come out fully to all those in attendance.

In my heart, I think he just reached out in kindness to me.  There was never anything inappropriate other than him simply holding my hand.  When it was over, he walked me back to my car and we embraced again.  He gave me a chaste kiss on my cheek and I left.  We never discussed it.

Sometimes just being there and being a friend is all we need to do when we have a kind heart.  I don’t know why I was thinking of him yesterday.  I haven’t seen him in 10 years at least.  So I said a little prayer to him and thanked him for his kindness wherever he may be and I hope he’s happy.

Have you ever had anything like that happen?


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14 Responses to Holding Hands In Friendship

  1. What a comforting gesture that was ❤ such a small gesture but a great impact because you haven't forgotten in 10 years. I love this.

    I'm sure you're like me who is usually the one to do these kind and sweet things, it must have felt so nice to be on the receiving end xo

    Liked by 2 people

    • janieleeds says:

      Thank you for understanding! I don’t even know why he came to my mind yesterday, but yes, it is a sweet memory that impacted me. I love when people are unexpectedly kind. And I am like you as I like to be kind – and so to be on the receiving end was lovely!! ♥

      Liked by 1 person

  2. The V Pub says:

    Yes, I have had something like that happen. I was at my neighbor’s party last year, which she had hosted with her husband. At one point in the night, I was standing in front of her and her husband, when her hand fell to her side. A moment later, she had taken my hand and held onto it, which I had found odd. We talked for a bit longer, then I had to go, giving her a kiss on her cheek, and then a handshake with her husband. I’m still confused.


  3. That’s a lovely story, they do say when we are thinking about someone they are usually thinking about us ! I wonder if he is on any social websites . Maybe he needs a friend 🌹

    Liked by 3 people

  4. As gay man; I would sense your distress and squeeze your hand as gesture of comfort. I’ve done this with women friends. I walk arm in arm with my closest women friends as an expression of friendship.

    Liked by 2 people

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