Yesterday, I was thinking about a guy that I knew long ago. He is a twin and we were friendly with some of the same people. (By the way, he’s gay so don’t go there). But I was thinking about the times when people just did something so unexpectedly kind and how much it touched me.
We were at a funeral and we hadn’t seen each other in years. Not that we were ever close, but we were always friendly and had many friends in common. In fact, the funeral was for the mother of our mutual friend. I was married, but my then husband didn’t come to the funeral, so I went alone. Adam went with his twin brother (who brought his wife), so he was kind of alone too.
I remember getting out of the car at the cemetery. I had seen some people I knew at the church, but I hadn’t had a chance to talk with anyone. As I turned to close the door of the car, Adam appeared. We embraced and made some small talk. As we began walking over to the graveside, he just took my hand. I was surprised and stopped. We looked at each other and he smiled at me. Then he squeezed my hand and continued walking. So I did the same – I squeezed his hand and kept walking in companionship.
I have often wondered why he did it. I also wondered what others thought when they saw us. I had been close with the mom of our friend, so I felt like Adam was being kind by being with me because I was a little teary. Years later, I remembered that he hadn’t ‘come out’ to many people who attended that funeral and maybe he found me to be an easy friend to look like we were friendlier than we really were. Briefly I wondered what others may have thought to see us holding hands by the graveside. But those that knew us, knew I was happily married and also that he hadn’t quite come out fully to all those in attendance.
In my heart, I think he just reached out in kindness to me. There was never anything inappropriate other than him simply holding my hand. When it was over, he walked me back to my car and we embraced again. He gave me a chaste kiss on my cheek and I left. We never discussed it.
Sometimes just being there and being a friend is all we need to do when we have a kind heart. I don’t know why I was thinking of him yesterday. I haven’t seen him in 10 years at least. So I said a little prayer to him and thanked him for his kindness wherever he may be and I hope he’s happy.
Have you ever had anything like that happen?