Tempers are heightened around the holidays and it’s like walking through a mine field these days with everyone being so sensitive and easily upset by the littlest thing. It’s hard to find peace when people are so touchy and grouchy. And that’s not what the holiday season is about at all!
But with most divorces, relationships that are normally strained, get even harder to navigate when the holiday season arrives. The best way I’ve found to deal with it is to not get bothered by the BS that swirls in my vicinity. I try to fly under the radar, do my own thing, put my head on the pillow at night with peace in my heart and not deal with the magnitude of disarray that is going on around me. You may think that I’m acting like an ostrich by sticking my head in the sand, but there’s a trick to it.
Most of the time, I am well-aware of the gossip that is happening and the narcissistic maneuvers. What I don’t do is to react to them in order to give the narcissists fuel or power. I am not turning a blind eye to their antics. I am well aware of what’s going on, but I don’t get in the middle of it unless it affects my kids. In the meantime, I hear the rumors and made up stories that they spread, but I ignore them. And it drives the narcissists crazy!
It’s taken me a LONG TIME to ignore the bullying and the lies because at first, I was always on the defense since I knew that they were telling lies. But as I’ve healed, I realize that they’re petty narcissists trying to get a rise out of me and I won’t bite the hook that they’re fishing with anymore.
I know who I am and so do my kids and that’s all that matters. Those that believe their lies that try to sully my reputation aren’t my friends anyway. Those that are my friends wouldn’t believe the gossip in a million years.
So I don’t enter the fray anymore. I don’t try to defend myself from the outrageous lies. I just go along, minding my own business and let them do what they want. And I like it that way. They receive no more attention from me and it feels good! Of course, the hard part was that it revved up for awhile because the narcissists wanted my attention and I really had to stay centered and not allow them to bother me. But as time has gone by, it’s gotten quieter with less gossip.
If you’re looking to do this as well, please note that it will get worse before it gets infinitely better. You just have to ride the rough seas for awhile and during the holidays, it always ramps up anyway.
My reputation as a good person is solid. So as the saying goes – Sticks and stones may break my bones, but names will never hurt me.
This method is working for me and I hope maybe you can be inspired to have it work for you too! I wish you a peaceful December! Stand tall. Be kind and take the high road. You are good person.