I haven’t been online in a few days. It’s been a whirlwind of emotion so forgive me if I’m not writing coherently, but I need to share in a safe place. My former husband is currently in the hospital in surgery, emergency surgery, serious issues. My kids are in turmoil emotionally as am I, although I am out of the loop in his family unit. Most likely it’s cancer that he ignored for a long time and I’m not sure what the Dr. will find, but it doesn’t look good. My kids found out recently when they thought they were going to see their dad and grandparents on a scheduled visit. Instead, their grandparents told them that their dad was hospitalized the night before and that they were going to see him after they went on a previously scheduled family day trip.
The kids came home after a full ‘family fun’ day followed by a visit to the hospital with a convoluted story of what’s wrong with him and how he ended up in the hospital. None of it made sense, but when I asked further, they didn’t know details. They seemed concerned, but not scared.
Fast forward to early this morning when my former husband’s father called me. I guess because the kids weren’t answering, he called me. (They were asleep). He gave me little information but said that my former husband was going into surgery asap and so the kids had to come right away to hospital to see him before the operation. I complied; woke the kids up and sent them to the hospital.
In the meantime, I texted my former husband telling him that I am sorry to hear he was ill, that I am keeping him in my prayers and ended with ‘you are loved,’ because I’d been with the man since I was in my early 20’s and I guess there’s a small part that still loves him (even though I don’t want him back). He acknowledged my text with a ‘thanks’ which is more than I’ve heard from him in awhile.
I’m sad for him and his family and I’m sad for my kids. Maybe this will be a wake up call for him to connect again with his kids and himself. I’m scared that he won’t make it through the surgery. I’m praying for a good outcome. And on Christmas Eve? It’s a lot of emotional turmoil here. I’m staying strong for the kids and only cried when they left the house for awhile. No need to have them worrying about me. I have to be their rock no matter what happens. Can you just say a little prayer that my kids will be ok? Thanks for reading…