Well, it’s been a bumpy ride this year and when I put my head on the pillow tonight, I’ll be happily saying goodnight to 2018. What I know is that I did my best through the hard lessons and even if I made a few mistakes along the way, they were never intentional. They were simply mistakes that meant no harm.
I let go of my former husband and our story. I let go of his toxic family. I let go of those who I walked on eggshells around because life’s too short. My former husband is still here and I wish him healing through his cancer. Whatever his lessons may be, they are his and not mine. My kids are still with me. We are even stronger than we were a year ago and closer than ever. They walk the line between their parents unfortunately, but they know they are loved and supported. I would change it if I could, but they have complete freedom to be with their dad and they don’t choose to do that often. While that breaks my heart for them and for him, it’s not my lesson to experience.
I can’t wait to wake up to a brand new year filled with possibility. I want to embrace myself this year. And stop being sorry for things I can’t control. I want to do what makes me happy more often without worry about what people think of me.
I want to continue to be more authentically Janie…and I wish that you are more authentically you in 2019 as well!