Excellent Advice For All Divorced Parents

judge advice

“Your children have come into this world because of the two of you.  Perhaps you two made lousy choices as to whom you decided to be the other parent.  If so, that is your problem and your fault.

No matter what you think of the other party – or what your family thinks of the other party – these children are one-half of each of you.  Remember that, because every time you tell your child what an ‘idiot’ his father is, or what a ‘fool’ his mother is, or how bad the absent parent is, or what terrible things that person has done, you are telling the child half of him is bad.

That is an unforgivable thing to do to a child.  That is not love.  That is possession.  If you do that to your children, you will destroy them as surely as if you had cut them into pieces, because that is what you are doing to their emotions.

I sincerely hope that you do not do that to your children.  Think more about your children and less about yourselves, and make yours a selfless kind of love, not foolish or selfish, as your children will suffer.”

By Judge Michael Haas, 2001 Minnesota

I found this article recently and just wanted to share it with you because I feel the same way.  Awhile back, I wrote about it here and here and here in case you’ve missed them.  I slipped up here when I let my emotions get the best of me.  Because none of us are perfect as you know, right?  But keep in mind the sage advice above from Judge Haas.  Rise above and be the example for your kids.  You’ll never go wrong with that.


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12 Responses to Excellent Advice For All Divorced Parents

  1. Dwight says:

    Great advice. ❤️ never fails.


  2. It’s not easy though hey? I find that I often talk about their father to my children in mostly generous terms, but every now and then he annoys the crap out of me and I let something slip…I really need to try harder not to let what is in my mind get blurted out.


  3. I tell mine God has given them what they need and just to take the best traits from both of us, which means I feel able now they are adults to say what I really feel.


  4. I had a “friend” who innocently commented “Your children are really nice looking. They don’t look like either of you.”I think whatever our differences, our genes combined well and gave them more or less what they need.


  5. I had two very different parents and in the end I think I needed both. I recognise both my parents gave me stuff that I needed too. I tell my youngsters it is my mother who comes out when my back is against the wall. I think most of the timebI am more like my father. People are often surprised when my mother comes out in me. Mind you even she says I am a force to be reckoned with.


  6. I was only telling them the other day that we all have different sides to our personality and it is ok.


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