I had to contact my divorce lawyer and pay him to help me again because my ex-husband intentionally betrayed the divorce agreement. Time and again, he thinks the rules don’t apply to him. But they do and if I’m the enforcer, then so be it. I will enforce the responsibilities that he agreed to when we signed the divorce papers.
It’s not that easy though because at first, I was hoping I wasn’t correct in what I thought happened. So I asked him, half hoping that he’d tell the truth. But a narcissist doesn’t change, especially when he’s being asked a direct question. So he lied which is bad for him since he did it in writing (score one for me). When I researched, I found the evidence of the lie and gave the truthful facts to my lawyer who is pursuing it.
I know his incendiary fury is growing since my ex knows that I’m onto him, again. While I could have filed a motion with the court on my own, I chose to have the lawyer do it because 1) it’s more official, 2) my lawyer is used to dealing with him, 3) I felt like I needed protection. Not like the ex is going to hurt me physically. That he never did. But emotionally, he has no bounds. And I’m just a little too tenderly healed to not have someone else protect me and deal with his outbursts. So far, I’ve been spared a brutal email from him.
That kind place that we were in when he was recently diagnosed with cancer is obliterated. I don’t know why, but it still amazes me that he was able to use my friendship all the while knowing he’d intentionally screwed me and the kids financially just a few months prior. And there I was thinking how nice that we were talking and maybe I could help him and the kids through his cancer, when instead, he was probably all the while laughing because he knew he’d screwed us over and I was clueless about it. If I’m honest with myself, there is no more nicey nice and heck, there really never was except in my own imagination because I wanted to think we could be friendly. But this betrayal sunk me into a depression which has changed to anger. I’m not going back to that narc bait girl who thought she’d give him the benefit of the doubt. Because once a liar, he’s proving, always a liar. I guess it’s another huge leap for me in the healing process. Another part of the illusion is gone and another stark reminder that narcissists are narcissists. Plain and simple. And to have loved one for so many years, only means that I must be extra careful to not be narc bait for someone else.
Wish me luck. May the law be on my side. May I receive what is financially, lawfully mine, sooner rather than later. I don’t care what he says. I refuse to believe him. We are not speaking anymore. He has told me I’m not to inquire about his health so I have not. His journey, his health. Just do the right thing financially and if you refuse, I will take you to court. I no longer care (well, I’m working on no longer caring). I’m still a work in progress.
Lesson Reminder: A tiger doesn’t change his stripes. Don’t be fooled.