Monday Blues

Being a single parent, ex-wife of a narcissist who’s not paying what’s legally owed me and raising two college kids with anxiety on my own is hard.  My story isn’t unusual, but sometimes it feels harder to deal with than normal.  And today’s one of those days.

I feel teary.  I have the Monday Blues.  I have so much paperwork and I feel like I’m drowning in debt.  I have zero energy to deal with all the issues that emails and the post office are bringing me today.  I just want to run away and hide under the covers.  I’m not even answering the phone, unless it’s my divorce lawyer who’s evading me because I need answers that he probably doesn’t have.

My kids are both home which is great!  But there’s a big storm brewing with their dad who’s battling cancer and his family (particularly his narcissist overbearing mother) and so my kids are dealing with hurts that I can’t fix.  I hate when my kids are suffering.  And as much as I appreciate they trust in me enough to share what’s going on, I feel like I’m powerless to do more than listen and advise as best I can.  And I hate that feeling of not being able to fix things for them since they don’t deserve this narcissistic abuse.  Nobody does.

I read that astrologically there’s Mercury Retrograde and some Pisces moon thing going on.  Maybe that’s what’s bringing me down along with all the stressors.  I’m just sad today.  The world’s on my shoulders and I need a miracle.  Anyone have a spare to lend me today?

 

 

This entry was posted in divorce, finding happiness at 50 and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

30 Responses to Monday Blues

  1. TJ Fox says:

    *Hugs* I know it doesn’t help much right now, but it does get better.

    Like

  2. Sending you love and strength, please believe that you WILL get through this and happy days will follow 🌹

    Like

  3. there is something in the air, i agree. i can’t even begin to work today, and slept after i got everybody on the bus. i am back in a mire that i have no business returning to… sigh. tomorrow.

    Like

  4. LA says:

    Sending love

    Like

  5. bone&silver says:

    Honour where you’re at, it’s ok. Take the afternoon off; go see a cheap film, or to a park for a walk. Get a pedicure or massage. Be kind to yourself Janie, and let all the Retrograde havoc do its thing…

    Like

  6. Dwight says:

    Ask the Universe, Janie. Best wishes❤️

    Like

  7. Sandy says:

    I hope you are going much better today.

    Like

  8. plentyfreaks says:

    Reading your blog made me realise we are in very similar situations, but you are about 5 years ahead of me. I fear it won’t improve for me. I am so angry with my ex for being so useless. We just need to remember we are the ones winning. Keep smiling and keep talking. We’re all here to listen and to help you along x

    Like

  9. I hope Monday is a little easier this week. I don’t protect my college-age youngsters any more. I figured that learning to handle their father was an important part of their journey.

    Like

  10. I feel that something is going on. I have learned to accept that there is normally something big about to happen when I feel like this.

    Like

  11. Create Space says:

    Just having you there to listen, Janie is probably all your boys could ask for. What me time have you lined up for yourself? You are coping with a lot so you deserve me time! How are the cigarettes going? Marie xx

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s