Miss, Ms. and Mrs. Titles

Ok, in keeping with the last post…I’m putting this one out there.  I guess I’m working on me again and figuring out my next chapter.  It’s been long coming even though I’ve been divorced for awhile now.  I’m just thinking I may want to venture out of my comfort zone further and see what the next adventure has in store for me.

So, after yesterday’s post, I was thinking about the Ms. title.  My memory of when Ms. first came into my view, I was working in the corporate world and not married.  I used Miss and for whatever reason, I didn’t feel like I was a Ms.  Maybe it was my age or the times or how I felt about me?

Because to me, Ms. was a power statement.  Maybe I’m wrong, but that’s how I felt at the time.  Ms. was the unknown – married or not, it didn’t matter.  Ms. was who she was with or without a husband/partner.

But then, once I was married, I was happy to be called Mrs. Leeds.  And now that I’m divorced and kept my married name because of my kids, people call me Ms. Leeds.  Well, people who I don’t know well, because my kids’ friends still call me Mrs. Leeds.  Old habits die hard and I don’t have the heart to keep correcting them.  Because really, what does it matter anyway?  But it’s weird in a way because I’m still not used to the Ms. title.  Maybe if I had taken back my maiden name after the divorce, it wouldn’t sound so strange to me.  But it does…Ms. Leeds instead of the Mrs. Leeds that I was for decades.

I feel like Ms. is the middle road between Miss (not married) and Mrs. (definitely married) when you aren’t sure of the status of the woman to whom you are speaking.  It’s a form of respect.  Although, I will say that I clearly remember women who were married, but chose the title Ms. in the workplace as what I thought was a statement of defining themselves.

How about you?  What do you think?

 

This entry was posted in divorce, finding happiness at 50, women 50 and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

10 Responses to Miss, Ms. and Mrs. Titles

  1. LA says:

    I’ve been Ms. For as long as I remember. I don’t like being Mrs. but truthfully, no arm uses an honorific when talking to me. My daughters friends call me by my first name , as does everyone I meet no matter who they are.

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    • janieleeds says:

      That makes it easier when everyone calls you by your first name. I have a tough time with my kids’ friends calling me by my first name. No one but my older kid’s girlfriend has done it. But I guess it’s inevitable and I should just use Janie and be done with the confusion. 🙂 Thanks LA for taking the time to comment!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I have been a Ms for all my adult life. Even when I was married and took my husband’s family name I stayed a Ms. His Mother was the Mrs, not me. Now I am back to my original, I am still Ms, it is a comfortable place for me.

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  3. Elaine says:

    To be honest I reverted back to my maiden name of Rose by Deed Poll and it was the best thing I ever did and I chose to be a Ms ❤️

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  4. TJ Fox says:

    I’ve always kind of hated the prefixes in general and did my utmost best to avoid them at all costs. Mostly because there are some people that get pissy if you use the wrong one (even if they haven’t told you which they prefer). I honestly can’t say that I was ever in a position to use one after my divorce. I think part of that was because I took my maiden name back.

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    • janieleeds says:

      Good for you TJ! I chose to keep my married name because of my kids and because my life for decades had been with his last name. And because it was a pain in the neck to change everything in my life at that time and I simply didn’t have the energy.

      Liked by 1 person

      • TJ Fox says:

        I have a whole story about why I went back, but mostly my maiden name was a huge part of my identity before I got married and needed to find a bit of that after the divorce. It helps that it was only changed for a few years. Still got called by my married name until my Hubby officially adopted OC.

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      • janieleeds says:

        I am just happy for you that it all worked out and that you’re happy with your name! It gives me great hope to think that there could be someone else for me out there, somewhere, in the right time. 🙂 How wonderful that your Hubby adopted OC!

        Liked by 1 person

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