But What About My Side Of The Story?

Learn to be ok with people not knowing your side of the story.  You have nothing to prove to anyone.  – Anonymous

I’ve heard through the grapevine (and my kids) that my in-laws (now ex-laws) and their father (now the ex-husband) have been telling lies about me.  It’s been mostly the ex MIL and ex husband making up outrageous lies which they’ve been doing since the ex left the kids and me.  What bothered me most was that the other family members were believing these lies.  It hurt me that they thought I was this type of person, when in fact, I am not.  The only consolation to me was that my kids know the truth.

I went so far as to write a letter to my former brother/sister-in-law to clear the air once and for all.  I wanted to attach all the legal documents as proof of the lies that were being spread about me so that they could see truth and not be swayed by the narcissists.  I wrote honestly, defending myself and citing examples of foul play.  I wrote until my fingers were tired from typing and intending to mail it soon since it all started last Christmas.

But once I was done writing, I reread what I’d written.  And then the quote above got sent to me and I thought about it.  That’s right.  I don’t need to prove anything to anyone.  And it sunk in deeply to my core.  What they think about me is their choice.  I know and my kids know who I am and what I’ve done or not done.  And that’s all that matters.

So I printed it and burned it in the fireplace, letting the embers of my frailty go up in smoke.  I am not sending it, but it felt damn good to have my say via a letter that was never sent.  I feel like I got it out of me even though they will never read it.

And so another link in the chain of shackles from my old life drops away.  I’m eager to be released from the painful thoughts which sometimes cloud my life.

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6 Responses to But What About My Side Of The Story?

  1. Elaine says:

    What is their problem! 😤 They are extremely toxic people I’m so pleased to read that you typed up your thoughts and then destroyed it because I think that was the best thing to do. Don’t give them the fuel to carry on and eventually they should disappear 😇


  2. Paula Light says:

    “Truth will out.” Shakespeare

    My exlaws weren’t thrilled with me after our split. I’m sure my ex told them a bunch of crap while I said nothing. Years passed and guess what? He has been a jerk to everyone while I’ve been me, and now they get it. At my daughter’s wedding last summer, all the exlaws were sweet to me and pissed at him. Why? Oh, he never bothered to show up! 😱


    • janieleeds says:

      I’m sorry he never showed up at your daughter’s wedding! How sad is that?! But I am grateful for your sharing your story with me. I am glad that your exlaws now know who he is…you must feel good that they understand now. This is what I hope will happen with the ex’s family too here.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. The V Pub says:

    As difficult as it has been for you, you are free of their toxicity now. Who cares what they think, as long as you and the kids know the real truth. Let the others live their lies.


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