Would You Take Your Ex Back?

If he wanted to come back, would you take your Ex back?

It’s a loaded question for sure.  I think it depends on you, on him and on the unique circumstances that surround your break up.  But I see so many women in a quandary about this subject that I thought I’d put it out there.

My ex left and while I did ask him to go to couples counseling, I never asked him to stay.  I thought, if you want to leave, go.  I won’t beg you to stay.  As heartbroken as I was, I wouldn’t want anyone who didn’t want to be with me, to be a husband and a father, to stay.  And he’s never asked to come back.  And I don’t want him back.

Maybe that’s easier for me because he’s never given any hint of wanting to come back.  So I had to move on.  There was none of this push pull, dropping out of nowhere to try to reconnect, only to ghost later on.  It wasn’t a clean break by any means, but cleaner than the stories I’ve heard.  And I’m relieved because I think when they do that (hoovering), it’s heartbreaking.  It reopens the wounds that were starting to heal.  And it makes it all the more devastating if they vanish again and don’t follow through with reconnecting.

Moving on is tougher than it looks.  I had to mend my broken heart and I cried a lot of tears for that decades’ long chapter in my life.  I was on my own as a single mom with no back up.  I had to learn how to make my life and my kids’ lives better with what little I had.  I had to release him and me from our bond.  But I did it.

My life isn’t perfect, but I can breathe now.  I never realized how much I was holding my breath when he was around and walking on eggshells to make everything perfect all the time.  I don’t miss that part of my past at all!   I miss the companionship of a partner, but that’s where time plays tricks on our minds.  In the end, he was a stranger and not a partner.  Yes, I loved him, but I loved what we had years before and not what we had before he left.  When I’m true to myself, I can remember how estranged we’d become and that wasn’t healthy.  And I want to be healthy and whole.  Don’t you?

So, what are you thinking?  Would you take your ex back?  Did you take him/her back?  How did it go?

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12 Responses to Would You Take Your Ex Back?

  1. Well…we know my answer, don’t we? My shameful little secret is that IF he got real help, IF a million things, the answer would probably-EVEN NOW- be yes. Even though I’ve said no all this time through the hoovering, reappearing, and disappearing, I can’t be 100% sure of what I’d do. Great post!

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  2. The V Pub says:

    I remember taking back my ex girlfriend after she had cheated on me. I *wanted* things to be just like they were before the incident. But, no matter how much I wanted that to be the case, it was not possible. Three times we tried, but in the end, it was over the first time.

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    • janieleeds says:

      Well, at least you gave it a chance Rob so that you had no doubts that it wasn’t meant to be. I’m sorry that this happened to you. It’s funny how we try and try again sometimes only to realize afterwards. Thanks for sharing.

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Paula Light says:

    No. He never loved me. I understand that now. He only ever loved his high school girlfriend and stayed in touch with her throughout our marriage, while having the nerve to berate me when after years of loneliness and no marital togetherness I finally turned to others. I had no idea they were still communicating! But he couldn’t be with her because she was his equal ~ he chose me, since I was younger and more malleable. For years, I let him boss me around. When I stopped, he had no more use for me. He found someone even younger to play with for a while. I did once ask him if he wanted to be together in retirement after our divorce was final and we were friends, but he didn’t. The friendship ended anyway and it’s for the best. He doesn’t even like me really… he just used me to give him children. And he doesn’t like them now because they have opinions.

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  4. Didi says:

    Definitely no,no,no and nooo.😲😲😲😲

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