It was a rough Christmas here with lots of feelings flying around between the kids and me because of the push/pull from ex’s family about Christmas Day (which is my time with the kids) but they always guilt the kids into going there. In fact, ex’s mother pulled a fake crying jag about how much she missed me to my older son to manipulate her way citing that she was hurt during the divorce too because we were so close and now we’re not. When I think I can’t be shocked at the lengths she’ll go to use her narcissistic maneuvers, I find she can still shock me and my kids who are usually aware of her manipulations. But the kids know it was their grandma who broke the relationship and not me so they weren’t fooled by her sob story, thank goodness.
The Christmas Miracle was the talk the boys and I had after Christmas because they gave me the best gift ever. Who knew that years down the road we’d be able to say that we are all grateful for the divorce and the relationship we’ve developed as two sons and a mom? And how we were all in agreement (and they’re the ones who said it), that we wouldn’t change a thing nor go back to the way things were when I was married to their dad. They told me how they love that we’ve made a family of three which is strongly bonded and supported with love. They told me how much I have changed and how much closer they feel to me and that they can say anything to me and that they couldn’t when I was married to their dad. They like me better because I’m more real, and authentically me in that I am happier and enjoy being me! LOL if they only knew about the name of my blog!
That simple conversation made it all worth while and I couldn’t be happier or more grateful. It hasn’t been easy, but I’ve kept the lines of communication open between the boys and me even when it was really hard to hear things from them or say certain things to them. But love found a way to give us the chance to work through the hard stuff. I’m sure we’ll encounter more hard stuff along the way, but for now, in this moment, I’m so happy that we have our special relationship.
Thanks for reading. I hope you had a great Christmas too! Did you???