Just Chatting…

It seems like January started a sudden burst of online dating interest.  I guess being that it’s the new year, people are more interested in dating now that the holidays are over and maybe they’ve made new year resolutions to find someone special.  Either way, I’ve been chatting with a few guys online for the past few days.

One asked me to meet for coffee at a local Starbucks so I’m going tomorrow.  The only thing is this – his first photo is at least 5 years younger than the other ones so I’m not quite sure what he looks like.  It’s weird, don’t you think?  Why would you put your main photo as one that is obviously a younger you?  It looks like a standard work photo, but the other ones are more casual along with him being wayyyy more grey haired and bearded.  It’ll be interesting I’m sure.  At least a coffee has an end time and it won’t drag on if there’s no zing.

It’s so stilted when you type chat with a stranger.  And it’s annoying when they reach out, you answer and then they don’t write back for two days but you can see they’re online.  When they finally do write back, I wonder why they didn’t write back before now.  Or worse yet, they ghost after you answer.  I think I prefer the ghosting.  It’s all good.  I’m not going to be everyone’s cup of tea and nobody I’m talking with right now feels like someone I want to get to know better anyway.  I’m just going through the motions and maybe they are too.  But at least I feel like I’m being more proactive.

My subscription to online dating is up in 2 weeks so I’ve been more active on the site than before because I feel like I have to get my money’s worth.  LOL  I’ll let you know how Starbucks guy is tomorrow.  I’ve got no expectations so I feel at peace.

As for the other ones, let’s see what happens with them.  Starbucks guy didn’t ask for my phone number (I like it better that way) and asked to meet face to face which I like as well because then I don’t feel like I’m giving out personal information.  Now I just have to decide what I’m wearing…ha ha….this is a kinda date you know!  Jeans, boots and a sweater sounds good to me.  Casual but nice.  Let’s hope he does the same.


This entry was posted in finding happiness at 50 and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

20 Responses to Just Chatting…

  1. LA says:

    Everyone lies on dating profiles….assume 30% of what they showed you is exaggerated….and then relax and enjoy

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Elaine says:

    😳 how exciting is this, I always preferred coffee dates that way you don’t have to spend hours with someone you don’t connect with. Regarding the photograph thing I can honestly say that very few people look like their motionless photograph. Remember to be open to getting to know someone who may not be your usual cup of tea. I treated each meeting as just two people meeting as friends both in the same situation, no pressure. The only other piece of advice would be to try not to talk about your ex ( personally I found that quite hard ). 🥴 Good luck and enjoy ❤️👍🏻😇


  3. Ainsobriety says:

    I cannot even imagine dating.
    I’ll live vicariously through you.


    • janieleeds says:

      Well, Anne, I will let you know what happens…who knows what it will be, but I’ll let you know..it is trippy to say the least! Who knew I’d be in this position…it was never where I thought I’d be, but I”m here and I’ll do my best! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  4. TJ Fox says:

    I’d suggest if you were going to stick this out longer to get a Google number that you could forward to your phone so you wouldn’t have to give out your real number. It is easy enough to drop something like that if it becomes a problem and it keeps a layer of privacy while still allowing you to have conversations offline.

    When I was doing all this nearly 20 years ago, I really liked that I had the opportunity to talk to someone long before I ever met them in person. I would do the online chat thing for a while (usually a live chat type of forum for a normal conversational stream rather than a send a message and wait to hear back thing) before then talking on the phone for a while. Hubby and I talked for over a month before we ever met in person and then it was nearly another month before we went out on an actual date. It was hugely important to me to know that the attraction was about more than just the physical and that method gave me that chance.

    And yes, I ran into a ton of people that lied. I wasn’t totally honest in my profile either, but most of what I wasn’t honest about were the kinds of details that would help protect my privacy (like my zip code, used at the time to help determine how close someone lived to you) as I was a single mother at the time. A whole lot of the process really wasn’t fun at all, but it ended up working out wonderfully for me.


    • janieleeds says:

      I love that it ended up working out wonderfully for you TJ! You’re an inspiration to me! I have my location slightly altered for just that reason as well. I will look into the google number because I’m not happy with strangers having my phone number. I just told someone who gave me his number that I don’t give my number out to people I don’t know or haven’t met yet. I am not sure how he’ll take it, but I offered to meet him (because he’d asked earlier). He had given me his number and I was able to sleuth a lot of info from it (which was good because he was who he said he was and there were no red flags at this point), but giving out my number is nerve-wracking because of what you can find with a phone number. Not that I have anything to hide at all, but because it’s a stranger.
      I love that you talked for so long,before you had your date and that it obviously worked out for you!!

      YAY! Thank you for sharing as I go though this experience. It helps sooo mcuh!
      That gives me hope and knowledge. And your sharing of your experience helps tremendously!! Thank You!!

      Liked by 1 person

      • TJ Fox says:

        Glad I could help even though my experience is so dated (and makes me feel so old!) That phrase “you’ve got to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince” really applies when it comes to online dating.


      • janieleeds says:

        I have heard that cliche and I believe it’s true! 🙂 I appreciate any and all advice and wisdom from your experience!

        Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s