Well LA, since you mentioned me, here I am!
Dating profiles online can be a huge giggle sometimes, but also very off-putting when what you’ve read on the site and who arrives at the site where you’re meeting for the first time don’t look like the same person.
Has anyone else thought they were meeting someone similar looking to George Clooney only to have Pee Wee Herman present himself? And yes, it’s happened.
So when you look incredulously at Pee Wee who online disguised himself as Clooney-esque, with grainy faraway photos etc..it is Pee Wee who says you aren’t giving him a chance and he’s upset. Let me get this straight. You duped me and while I’m shocked by it, you’re mad that I’m not more forgiving…when all I can think of is what else you’ll be lying about to me. And what if I’m not giving you a chance but there’s a chance we’d be a good match? And I get it. I always give the benefit of the doubt when it comes to online photos because people can look a little different in real-life. And I’m not a girl who necessarily judges a book by his cover, but let’s not go overboard here. Some semblance of similarity is required between your photo and you.
I think there’s wiggle room in profiles, but not to that extent. LA, I love how you changed your dating profile 3 ways. Perhaps I should give you mine in order to gussy it up a little bit because I think you’ve found a new side career – online dating profile writer!
But yes, I think it matters that you are authentic on a profile.
1. First and foremost, you need to currently look like your profile photo. It never ceases to amaze me how many men include old photos (one was even of the prom and we’re now 50!) Seriously? Why am I looking at your glory days in a dating profile?
2. Don’t lie about your body type because when we meet you can’t hide it. Own it if you’re short or tall, fat or thin. And stop with the bathroom shots of you disrobed from the waist up. Can’t a girl meet you and wonder what you’ve got going under your clothing and fantasize a bit about your strong pecs and broad shoulders and how they’d feel when I run my palms over them?
They just ruin all the fun and at times, their messy bathroom background makes me uneasy because I notice things…uh oh, do I put that on my profile? I will notice the little things and wonder about them because I have a BS meter that goes off in my head? Yikes….do I need to be that authentic? Nah….not yet…
3.When you’re trying to impress, I guess you can finagle a bit. Maybe you’d like to read more books and go to more museums so you exaggerate…ok. I get it.
**But those stretching of the so called ‘truths’ don’t include your education level, your financial situation, your marital situation (because you’re not divorced until you are legally divorced) or how many children/wives you’ve had, etc.
My profile has recent photos and nobody but me in them because I don’t want people to get confused. I can’t tell you how many male dating profiles have photos with multiple guys in the shot and sometimes I honestly don’t know which one is him.
Or then there are those that have other women in the photo on their profile and you wonder who she is…unless it’s one of those ‘we’ profiles of a couple who are looking for a woman to share (and yes, I’ve been liked by those). Uh…no thanks, that’s not for me.
I could go on and on, but I’ll stop for now. I’m curious to hear what you’ve got to say LA and your followers…those in the trenches of online dating, those that have been there and done that but aren’t anymore and those who haven’t been online dating ever.
Bring it on! Tell me how authentic you have to be online?