Authentic Dating Profiles?

Well LA, since you mentioned me, here I am!

Dating profiles online can be a huge giggle sometimes, but also very off-putting when what you’ve read on the site and who arrives at the site where you’re meeting for the first time don’t look like the same person.

Has anyone else thought they were meeting someone similar looking to George Clooney only to have Pee Wee Herman present himself?  And yes, it’s happened.

So when you look incredulously at Pee Wee who online disguised himself as Clooney-esque, with grainy faraway photos is Pee Wee who says you aren’t giving him a chance and he’s upset.  Let me get this straight.  You duped me and while I’m shocked by it, you’re mad that I’m not more forgiving…when all I can think of is what else you’ll be lying about to me.  And what if I’m not giving you a chance but there’s a chance we’d be a good match?  And I get it.  I always give the benefit of the doubt when it comes to online photos because people can look a little different in real-life.  And I’m not a girl who necessarily judges a book by his cover, but let’s not go overboard here.  Some semblance of similarity is required between your photo and you.

I think there’s wiggle room in profiles, but not to that extent.  LA, I love how you changed your dating profile 3 ways. Perhaps I should give you mine in order to gussy it up a little bit because I think you’ve found a new side career – online dating profile writer!

But yes, I think it matters that you are authentic on a profile.

1. First and foremost, you need to currently look like your profile photo. It never ceases to amaze me how many men include old photos (one was even of the prom and we’re now 50!)  Seriously?  Why am I looking at your glory days in a dating profile?

2. Don’t lie about your body type because when we meet you can’t hide it.  Own it if you’re short or tall, fat or thin.  And stop with the bathroom shots of you disrobed from the waist up.  Can’t a girl meet you and wonder what you’ve got going under your clothing and fantasize a bit about your strong pecs and broad shoulders and how they’d feel when I run my palms over them?

They just ruin all the fun and at times, their messy bathroom background makes me uneasy because I notice things…uh oh, do I put that on my profile?  I will notice the little things and wonder about them because I have a BS meter that goes off in my head?  Yikes….do I need to be that authentic?  Nah….not yet…

3.When you’re trying to impress, I guess you can finagle a bit. Maybe you’d like to read more books and go to more museums so you exaggerate…ok. I get it.

**But those stretching of the so called ‘truths’ don’t include your education level, your financial situation, your marital situation (because you’re not divorced until you are legally divorced) or how many children/wives you’ve had, etc.

My profile has recent photos and nobody but me in them because I don’t want people to get confused.  I can’t tell you how many male dating profiles have photos with multiple guys in the shot and sometimes I honestly don’t know which one is him.

Or then there are those that have other women in the photo on their profile and you wonder who she is…unless it’s one of those ‘we’ profiles of a couple who are looking for a woman to share (and yes, I’ve been liked by those).  Uh…no thanks, that’s not for me.

I could go on and on, but I’ll stop for now.  I’m curious to hear what you’ve got to say LA and your followers…those in the trenches of online dating, those that have been there and done that but aren’t anymore and those who haven’t been online dating ever.

Bring it on!  Tell me how authentic you have to be online?



This entry was posted in divorce, finding happiness at 50, love and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

21 Responses to Authentic Dating Profiles?

  1. The V Pub says:

    That sounds silly to me. Why pretend you’re someone you’re not? Like you stated, the truth will come out anyway.

    Liked by 1 person

    • janieleeds says:

      Exactly Rob! There’s something undeniably sexy about a man who is kind, confident and happy with himself that shines through – inner beauty makes all the difference.
      Have you been online dating? What are the women like if you have? Just wondering.

      Liked by 2 people

      • The V Pub says:

        I did online for a short time, but was exceedingly frustrated with it. What I don’t like about it is that people are able to frame the persona that they want to show. I want to find that persona myself, and not be told what it is.


      • janieleeds says:

        I agree with you Rob…thanks for sharing. I like it when relationships develop over time…


  2. Paula Light says:

    They’re all liars. I advise not doing dating sites at all, but everyone has to learn for themselves.


  3. TJ Fox says:

    My favorite was of the guy that had a really nice profile pic of him with this full, thick head of hair and he shows up and it is this massively thin and wispy fluff that barely covers the glare. He looked NOTHING like his profile pic. It wasn’t even an age thing. That kind of a change is massive. My hubby has almost no hair, so it isn’t an issue for me, but it is about the honesty. A great example would be how my hubby looks without his goatee. We joke that it is grounds for divorce if he ever shaves it off because he just does NOT look like the same guy. It is shocking the difference.

    I also laughed my butt off at the profile pics of guys that were obviously wedding pics, but they’d cut out the wife. Seriously? You think THAT is attractive?! Sheesh people!


  4. LA says:

    I think your best chance at dating happiness is to present as you are. I also think some things can be exaggerated a little (like how much tv you watch) but education, bad habits, etc need to be out there….


  5. bone&silver says:

    I’ve done a lot of online dating in my time, and I try to describe myself as a really good friend would describe me.

    And dishonesty sucks: I once messaged for a couple of weeks with an interesting man, who was 10 years older than me (which is my limit for age differences), then when we met I realized he was older… after asking him directly THREE TIMES how old he actually was, he finally told me he was 69, which was 20 years older than me, and a significant difference from being 59! Then he wondered why I went home and wasn’t interested in further meetings??

    So good luck! And don’t forget my dating advice: remember that you are the jewel at the top of the mountain, and they need to work & climb to get to you, rather than you ‘selling yourself’ to them.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s