How To NOT Choose Fear

I’m a planner which means that when circumstances beyond my control come into my life, I have to ruminate over all the options and go down each road in order to feel ok with what my next move is.  Example:  If X happens, then I can do Y.  If this is said, I can say this.  And so on.  You get the idea, right?  Are you this way too?

But I’ve been reading a lot lately and what I thought was working for me so well isn’t anymore.  Because I’m tired of living in fear.  I’m tired of reacting to actions/words that hurt me instead of taking action myself.  In other words: Action vs. Reaction.

I made a promise to myself:

Take action when needed.  Don’t judge another person’s motivation.  Allow life to unfold with the confidence that I will be guided to know what to say/do when I lead without fear.

But it isn’t easy to do for me.  It’s a struggle, but one that I’m wanting to move through with ease.  If you’ve ever been in a combative situation, you know that choosing peace and love over fear isn’t easy.  And I’m not saying to not be prepared or have all of your ‘ducks in order’ when you suspect or know that a situation is brewing.  My advice is to be prepared.  Do what needs to be done and then stand in the knowledge that you have done what is needed so you’re ready.

You have a choice in every circumstance.  You have free will to choose fear or to choose peace and love.  You get to decide even when you feel fearful.  You can choose peace and feeling centered when you know you are in the right.  Faith is standing in your truth and not allowing fear to seep in with its darkness and blur the lines.

And I’m not necessarily talking about faith as in religion.  I’m talking about faith in yourself.  Doing the inner work to increase your self-worth and to hold steady with your inner truth.  Find the peace within yourself so that you aren’t swayed by someone else’s comment or reaction.  Know who you are and be that person with authenticity, with goodness, with caring, with kindness, with strength and with love.

All the rest of it isn’t your concern.

  • If you feel it matters what others think or say of you when you know that you’re a good person, then you’re thinking in fear.
  • When you allow love to be your guiding light then you realize that those petty judgments are only a reflection of the other person’s fears and have nothing to do with you.

You can apply this to most situations.  I happen to have a situation after the divorce that raised the red flag enough for me to dig deeper into myself to find peace and to begin to choose to lose the fear that usually motivates me.

Do you understand?

Do you feel the same way?

Can you apply it to a situation in your life?


This entry was posted in divorce, finding happiness at 50, love and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to How To NOT Choose Fear

  1. Pallavi says:

    Oh how I feel you! I am an overthinker and extremely “needing” to be in control person. That’s why when it comes to my kids, I many a times, flirt with the paranoia territory. Personally for me the only thing which helps is to distract myself 😩
    I like this post a lot.


    • janieleeds says:

      Thank you Pallavi. Yes, it’s hard to master fear and I”m certainly not a master….yet….but I’m trying and doing my best like you are as well! I think that’s all we can expect from ourselves, right? Doing our best and awareness is always a step forward into healing! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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