We’re not on quarantine really here because none of us has the virus (knock wood, thank God), but still everything is shutting down so we’re home. While I’m ok to not be going out all the time, it’s harder for my older son who’s over 21 and used to living his own life, on his own schedule with his friends at university. I’m doing my best to not lose my patience with his lack of awareness. Case in point: when he’s loudly talking late at night because he’s not aware of how loud he is or that I’m sleeping. The other night I laid in bed and could hear him laughing and shouting with his friends and having a good ole time. Honestly, part of me was annoyed because I’m trying to sleep and it’s late at night and I can hear him through the floor above me. The other part of me was happy to hear him and his brother up there having a good time together with friends on the video games. Because obviously they were having lots of fun.
What’s a mom to do? I chose (note the choice here) to smile to myself and to be happy that I didn’t have to go to work the next day and that my kids were safely home and healthy. However, when it went more than 15 minutes, I knew there was no getting any sleep like this, so I just texted him. “Can you keep it down please? Trying to sleep.” He replied, “Sorry Mom. We’ll stay quieter.” I replied, “Thanks xo” He answered, “Love you.”
Point made without me getting up out of my bed and it’s been better ever since! But I know if I had chosen to lose my mind and go upstairs in grumpy mom mode, we wouldn’t have had the same results. I guess that’s what I’ve learned by parenting mistakes I’ve made in the past, especially as a divorced mom of two kids whose father isn’t around. Patience hasn’t always been a virtue of mine, but it’s increased over the years.
I try to think about the kids’ point of view and not repeat my childhood which was fraught with a tyrant of a father whose word was law and there was no way but his….ever! And so far, it’s working well. There’s a lot of respect here between us (kids and me). Everyone gets a say even though I’ll always be MOM. But they’ve taught me a lot by just listening to them. And by listening, I’ve learned that my way isn’t always best. I’m not so bullheaded as to think it is which has helped immensely.
Anyway, I know this is a transition for us all. I just thought I’d check in to see how all of you are doing! I hope you’re all healthy, happy and doing ok.