And They’re Back…

We’re not on quarantine really here because none of us has the virus (knock wood, thank God), but still everything is shutting down so we’re home.  While I’m ok to not be going out all the time, it’s harder for my older son who’s over 21 and used to living his own life, on his own schedule with his friends at university.  I’m doing my best to not lose my patience with his lack of awareness.  Case in point:  when he’s loudly talking late at night because he’s not aware of how loud he is or that I’m sleeping.  The other night I laid in bed and could hear him laughing and shouting with his friends and having a good ole time.  Honestly, part of me was annoyed because I’m trying to sleep and it’s late at night and I can hear him through the floor above me.  The other part of me was happy to hear him and his brother up there having a good time together with friends on the video games.  Because obviously they were having lots of fun.

What’s a mom to do?  I chose (note the choice here) to smile to myself and to be happy that I didn’t have to go to work the next day and that my kids were safely home and healthy.  However, when it went more than 15 minutes, I knew there was no getting any sleep like this, so I just texted him.  “Can you keep it down please?  Trying to sleep.”  He replied, “Sorry Mom.  We’ll stay quieter.”  I replied, “Thanks xo”  He answered, “Love you.”

Point made without me getting up out of my bed and it’s been better ever since!  But I know if I had chosen to lose my mind and go upstairs in grumpy mom mode, we wouldn’t have had the same results.  I guess that’s what I’ve learned by parenting mistakes I’ve made in the past, especially as a divorced mom of two kids whose father isn’t around.  Patience hasn’t always been a virtue of mine, but it’s increased over the years.

I try to think about the kids’ point of view and not repeat my childhood which was fraught with a tyrant of a father whose word was law and there was no way but his….ever!  And so far, it’s working well.  There’s a lot of respect here between us (kids and me).  Everyone gets a say even though I’ll always be MOM.  But they’ve taught me a lot by just listening to them.  And by listening, I’ve learned that my way isn’t always best.  I’m not so bullheaded as to think it is which has helped immensely.

Anyway, I know this is a transition for us all.  I just thought I’d check in to see how all of you are doing!  I hope you’re all healthy, happy and doing ok.

 

This entry was posted in divorce, finding happiness at 50, love and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

19 Responses to And They’re Back…

  1. Good son. I have a couple. 😊

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  2. scr4pl80 says:

    We have two adult children with us as well and I totally get the loud noises. Great that he listened to you. Respect on all sides is the key.

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  3. Dwight Hyde says:

    Glad you’re all together my friend❤️. Love is so precious.

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  4. petespringerauthor says:

    Parenting adult kids is a whole different ballgame. Well done! I can remember moving home after being out on my own, and that was not easy (probably for child and parent).

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  5. OmniRunner says:

    I think I’ve been in denial. I finally set up my home office yesterday and went for a run.

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  6. TJ Fox says:

    My kids just started back with school after spring break and are doing online. It is going to be an interesting shift.

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  7. Love to hear mutual respect stories between parent and child. The older my Son gets, the better things are between us, especially since he went to college.

    My Son tends to be up late with friends online and he wears headphones so when he’s loud I do have to get up and wave to him because he can’t hear the phone if I text him. Fortunately he’s in the loft right outside my room so I don’t have to go far. Once I wave, he knows to tone it down. I keep earplugs by my bed though just in case.

    If I don’t have to get up for work I’m OK with that, but when I do have to get up I have on occasion raised my voice, only if it’s the wee hours of the morning.

    Now that he has to shift to online classes I’m hoping he harnesses in how late he’s up. We shall see.

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    • janieleeds says:

      I’ve got my fingers crossed for you Mariann. I love that you’ve got a system that works for both of you! I went upstairs once to ask mine to tone it down and because he had the earphones on, he jumped because I scared him. I will say it made me giggle a bit…now I just text and he keeps his phone where he can see it. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

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