Sometimes I think it’s hard to define truth from the story that we’ve chosen to think. It reminds me of Byron Katie and her four questions.
- Is it true?
- Can you absolutely know it’s true?
- How do you react – what happens – when you believe that thought?
- Who would you be without the thought?
How about completing that exercise when you’re mad as hell that your life isn’t what you isn’t what you want? When you do answer the questions with honesty, you may be surprised at the answers or at that prickly feeling you have when you’re not really getting down to the nitty gritty truth of it. And from someone who’s done that exercise, the nitty gritty truth isn’t always something you want to hear or see or face.
But that’s where the healing comes in even though it can be messy. Messy as in full of emotion, full of pain, but with the promise of healing because you’re letting it all out.
All the emotions that you’ve stuffed down deep inside so as to be able to keep going. Keep being the responsible adult that you have to be. Keep the family together. Keep paying the bills. Keep the peace. Keep the kids intact. Keep that dream of a better life alive. But somewhere along that path, you dropped you because the responsibility of everyone else was overwhelming. You thought you’d get back to you at some point, but it’s been a long journey.
Now’s the time during this stay at home time to take small steps. We are #alonetogether. Let me know how this exercise goes for you and if you find anything surprising.
Below are more details to help you. Good luck. I’m here to help.
Question 1: Is it true?
This question can change your life. Be still and ask yourself if the thought you wrote down is true.
Question 2: Can you absolutely know it’s true?
This is another opportunity to open your mind and to go deeper into the unknown, to find the answers that live beneath what we think we know.
Question 3: How do you react—what happens—when you believe that thought?
With this question, you begin to notice internal cause and effect. You can see that when you believe the thought, there is a disturbance that can range from mild discomfort to fear or panic. What do you feel? How do you treat the person (or the situation) you’ve written about, how do you treat yourself, when you believe that thought? Make a list, and be specific.
Question 4: Who would you be without the thought?
Imagine yourself in the presence of that person (or in that situation), without believing the thought. How would your life be different if you didn’t have the ability to even think the stressful thought? How would you feel? Which do you prefer—life with or without the thought? Which feels kinder, more peaceful?
Turn the thought around:
The “turnaround” gives you an opportunity to experience the opposite of what you believe. Once you have found one or more turnarounds to your original statement, you are invited to find at least three specific, genuine examples of how each turnaround is true in your life.