My roommate from college and I often talk after 9pm with a glass of wine. We’re both divorced and so the conversations often run from exes, to kids, to a catch up on the day, to work frustrations and to overall just chitchat. We don’t talk every night, but it’s nice to share a glass of wine virtually with a friend and just talk.
Because one of the things I miss from being married was that quiet time after dinner when we talked about our day. We caught up as parents about the kids, work and just life. And while I don’t miss him anymore because he’s changed so radically and we stopped doing that before the marriage broke up, I’m finding that I’m missing that part.
So this has been a nice reprieve. And we often talk about how different it may be when one of us gets into a relationship. She was seeing a guy for a few months so I didn’t talk to her as much, but they’ve broken up so we are back to our routine.
I like having time to talk with a friend without guilt. I never had that when I was married. I scurried and made it all about him once he walked through the door. Old fashioned thinking for sure and probably because that’s what his mother did for his father and he expected it as well.
But this is a fun routine for now. We laugh at how our conversations veer and twist all over every subject as it flows. It helps to have another person whom you trust to help when things are flaky with the kids and you need another person’s opinion. It’s nice to vent about trials and tribulations in our days when you just need someone to listen and not to fix it. But when it needs fixing, we do that as well! The free flowing chatter is often punctuated with silliness and all out laughter over the dumbest things. And yes, we often talk about sighting a good-looking nice man in the store like silly school girls. We haven’t become men haters because we still believe in love.
But that remains to be seen at this point for so many reasons – Covid being one of them. I have another friend who’s online dating and she said there are so many separated men online that she’s really frustrated since she’s divorced and wants a clean start. I guess if its meant to be, it will happen.
In the meantime, chitchat starts at 9pm!