It’s amazing how we can adapt to a simpler life if we only allow ourselves to stop comparing the past to the present. – Janie Leeds
During the good years of marriage, it was wonderful. We enjoyed a comfortable lifestyle for which I was really grateful. But when he left, things took a downward turn. For awhile, the kids and I had a hard time because they’d been used to a different lifestyle. And I’d grown accustomed to it too.
But while he kept our comfortable lifestyle and even had more money to himself, the kids and I had even less. I was the one to say ‘no’ many more times because we couldn’t afford it on what I had in the bank. At first they were really angry with me (and they weren’t spoiled by the way), but after a good family talk where I was really honest with them, they started to come around and not ask for expensive gifts because I didn’t have the money for them.
It became that getting ‘take out’ was a treat and not something we did every week. We started cooking together more often. We began to find that the simpler life was actually more fun because it brought us together.
When I stopped comparing what we had to what we presently have, a lot of stress fell away. Sure, I liked our comfy lifestyle and no, I don’t like worrying about money now. But that’s the way it is and once I accepted it, I felt better.
Is it fair? No. Is it right? No. But it is what it is for right now. I can only do what is humanly possible and I have to rely on the court system.
So if you’re in a similar situation, I get it. I understand. And while the ex is driving around in a new fancy car and I’m not, it’s ok. He goes on expensive vacations and eats out more often than eating at home. But he’s alone. And I’m not.
Because I have our kids and they’re more precious to me than any luxury item could ever be.