We spent the afternoon at my brother’s house with his family. Social distanced until meal time, but even then, his wife had the place settings distanced so that felt good. I am glad I went and that my kids came with me. It’s always nicer when they’re there.
At one point he was in the kitchen with his wife and for a brief moment it made me sad because it’s obvious that they have a good relationship. There’s a give and take which I watched and realized that the ex and I really never had that gift of communication.
And while I’m happy for them, honestly, I am, I was a bit melancholy wondering if I’ll ever find someone to share my life with in the future. Even though I am happy having my kids home with me, someday they will move out and while I might like a night or two off from being Mom, I don’t know how I’d survive completely alone for a long period of time.
Because I’m a hugger and I love people. It’s almost a physical need that I crave connections. Please don’t think I’m crazy because I’m not. But do you know what I mean? I’m very affectionate so to not have any physical contact would be tough for me.
I know I’m getting ahead of myself. I guess it’s just the post holiday melancholy. I’ll be right as rain tomorrow. Just give me a little while today…