I’m part of a group on FB that has divorced and single moms over age 50. Why? Because that’s who I am. But the majority of these women are having such a difficult time that it makes me sad.
Now you know, if you’ve been reading my blog, that I have had a difficult time too. I have yet to meet a person whose divorce went smoothly or who doesn’t have regrets or anger or intense sadness after a divorce. Those are feelings that we have to process and work through so we can heal.
I can honestly say that I don’t wish anything bad on the ex. I have no relationship with him (his choice) and I only ask that he pay on-time as the divorce decree stipulates. His relationship with my kids is theirs alone. I do not speak badly about him. I released him and his family and I am better because of it. There’s no use in holding on when there’s nothing there.
I’m not just talking about divorces. I’m referring to anything that causes you strife. Dragging that into the new year is mucking up 2021. January 2021 is still the transition from 2020 to 2021 so work on your issues now so that by February you can be clear to enjoy what 2021 has to offer.
Let go of people who do not want to be with you. The energy you expend thinking about them isn’t helping to strengthen you. It’s weakening you, bit by bit. Thought by thought. I will not tell you that there’s someone else out there for you in order to make you feel better. There sure might be, but I don’t know that and neither do you. But what I do know is that YOU need to heal yourself so that you are happy with yourself which may lead you to finding someone else to share your life. But if you don’t figure yourself out before you try again, your same patterns and distress will continue into the next relationship. Why? Because you didn’t clear it out and heal it.
Take an inventory of what you want in your life in 2021. What matters to you most? What feeds your soul? What makes you feel inspired? Loved and happy? Our world is changing. Drop the inauthentic baloney. Be a good person. Be yourself. Release yourself from the gossip fray and find your tribe. There are a lot of us out there who are kind, caring and enjoy connecting with people.
Join us. We’re here for you. I’m here for you and I’ll help you.