The Contract Was Completed

I’ve been getting more spiritual lately and one of the other reasons I’ve found that happens in a divorce situation is this: The contract was completed and it was time to move on.

I believe that the people we encounter are for a reason. Some are here to teach us something. Others are for a reason that we may not understand at the time. Others (like the ex) were here for our union and subsequent children’s births. You might think I’ve lost my mind, but read on if you are interested in my theory. And if it resonates with you, let me know.

I think that my kids were to be born from the ex and my union. He was to be there with us for a time and when the ‘contract’ was up, he was freed to leave (and he did). His leaving, even though I didn’t understand it at the time, was for me to be able to grow and to find who I am without being tied to the roles I had taken on by being wife/mom etc. While I am still mom, a role which I adore, and would love to someday be a wife again, I am learning so much about myself without the constraints of marriage.

In other words, he did me a favor by leaving…even though it took me a long time to see it that way. And maybe I’m being delusional to myself in this train of thought that ‘our contract ended’ but it soothes me in a way which is why I’m sharing it with you.

There’s more to my theory, but I’m not sure if this is a good venue to proceed writing about it so I’ll stop now. I read a book called Little Soul and The Sun and that’s how this theory was born.

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23 Responses to The Contract Was Completed

  1. The V Pub says:

    That’s a very interesting take on it. I think that it’s very positive to take it as a life lesson. In many ways, all relationships are variations on contracts and most have an expiration date.

    Liked by 1 person

    • janieleeds says:

      Thank you. Yes, if we think about it that way, then the phrase “here for a season” or “here for a reason” makes sense. I feel like the ex was here for the reason and it was good. And when it was complete, he moved on and now so have I.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Paula Light says:

    Yes, I feel that way about not only the ex but romance in general. It all served a purpose that has now expired. Onward! 💖

    Liked by 1 person

  3. scr4pl80 says:

    Very good theory.


  4. Ainsobriety says:

    I agree.
    I believe that grace comes from suffering, and, in hindsight, I have deep gratitude for my life struggles, including my divorce.

    I wouldn’t choose the suffering, and I hate it while I’m in the midst of the pain, but the outcome is all for me. The universe loves me. And you. It just has a funny way of showing it!



    Liked by 1 person

    • janieleeds says:

      Beautifully said Anne. I whole-heartedly agree! Without the hard times it is said we wouldn’t appreciate the good ones…without the challenges we wouldn’t grow…because experiencing those first hand deepens our authenticity, our awareness and our understanding of ourselves and others.
      But yes…sigh…deeply…


  5. bone&silver says:

    Oh I so agree! And I love noticing how much you’ve grown and changed since I started following your blog- this is a great new attitude 🙂 x


  6. LA says:

    Have you ever read The Seven husbands of Evelyn Hugo?


  7. cheerfulmonk says:

    My motto is, “Stay curious and open to life. No matter what happens keep learning and growing. Find what you love and find a way to share it with others.” For me that’s liberating.


    • janieleeds says:

      I agree with you! It does feel liberating to keep growing and learning and I try to do that through reading and studying. Thank you for stopping by my blog and for taking the time to comment! Have a great day!


  8. OmniRunner says:

    It’s always best to see the good in any situation. It’s always there somewhere and I think you’ve found it.


  9. hbsuefred says:

    My whole “family development” timeline appears to be a little reversed from the “standard.” I had “found” myself, self-confidence, etc. before I met my spouse. Everything in the “family development” timeline happened pretty fast after that. Now, after 30 years of marriage, he has finally succeeded in driving me away, which he may have been trying to do for the last 15 years. Of course I got some good things out of that, like my kids and some other people, places, things I probably would not have encountered if it had not lasted as long as it did including moves and relocations that took place in the interim. Unfortunately, for me one of the end results of this now-completed contract might be finding myself back at square one but lacking the self-confidence and optimism re my future, whatever it might be, that I had 30 years ago. I have, however, learned a bit from you about what to expect as I embark and work through the divorce process and its aftermath.


    • janieleeds says:

      Sue, I love that you shared your story with me. Thank you. How wonderful that you had ‘found’ yourself before you met him! Because that woman inside is still here-but she’s evolved and changed and learned and grown!

      I am glad to be here to help you in your journey. It’s a bit of a bump in the road to be back at square one, but it’s happened to many of us and we just have to hold on and ride it out. I’m here when you need a friend.


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