I kept myself busy last night while the one kid was out with his dad alone and the other at work. I have to admit to you that having nobody in the house for a few hours was delightful! Oh my gosh, I hadn’t realized how much I’d needed complete alone time and I could totally relax for a bit!
This Covid home all the time and no time alone (even though I didn’t do anything extraordinary) takes a toll on your psyche. I really, honestly, hadn’t realized it until I was totally alone for a few hours! And it was grand! Marvelous! Big huge smile!!!!
I was home alone and not being Mom for a little while. Off the clock shall we say. Not responsible for anyone but me for a bit. I could breathe! It was so weird to not keep one ear listening for someone calling me. There was nobody home but me! I sang loudly in the kitchen by myself. I walked around the house and smiled because we’d made it even when it was awful losing everything and being divorced. I felt a bit empowered. A bit more like Janie the woman and not Janie the divorced mom. And ohhhhh…..it felt gooooood!!
So last night’s kid visit with his dad went ok. There was a little bit said to me, but not much. Instead he talked with his brother who was home from work and they worked on the issues together. I love that they have each other to talk things through with instead of it always being me. Fingers crossed for tonight’s kid visit with dad. This one should be fine though because he can manage his dad and dad’s family better than my other son. But who knows? We shall see. I’m not planning on worrying about things I can’t control.
And tonight I get it (home alone!) again because it’s vice versa (one kid working while other one with his dad). I think I may even take a bubble bath! And just throw together a small charcuterie board for dinner along with a glass of wine! And of course, something chocolate for dessert! A chick flick on Netflix?! And then a long chat with an old friend…heavenly….
In the meantime, I’m running out to the grocery to get myself something special for tonight! I will raise a glass to all of you for being so kind to me. I hope you’re having a great Saturday!