Romancing The Stone

Do you remember the movie Romancing The Stone with Michael Douglas, Kathleen Turner and Danny DeVito? It came out in 1984 when I was in high school. I remember going to see it in the movie theater with friends and loving it. We were at that luscious age when we were devouring romance novels, daydreaming about Prince Charming and crushing on the boys in our school all while trying to determine if he liked us because he did x, y or z because we thought it was romantic. LOL

Do any of you resonate with that memory? Or am I just the naive girl who was surrounded by giggling girlfriends who were thinking all about romance and kissing boys instead of sex back in those days?

Anyway, LA over at wakinguponthewrongsideof50.brings up in her post today about romance and sex with examples from the Big Bang Theory and it got me thinking. Because now that I’m divorced and not dating anyone, there’s zero romance nor sex in my life. Of course the pandemic hasn’t helped me connect with anyone either so that’s a moot point.

But I wonder how I’ll react when he comes into my life? Will I swoon if he starts to romance me a little? Will I be jaded by these past desert years and distrust him? Will I hop into bed with him or will I need to wait? And would he be willing to wait at this age? At this time in society?

Because frankly I’ve had enough of Hallmark stories even though I’d love to believe in them. I don’t. This may be because I binge-watched too many of them over this past year of quarantine and the rote storyline has me exasperated even though I am grinning with the happy ending that the characters have gone through tough times and stay together and all is well.

Do you feel the same way?

After the divorce an old friend offered to take my divorce virginity (I didn’t know that was a thing) – definition as I understand it – have sex with me after my divorce so I could get the first time after divorce over with – hmmmm… I often wondered if it was something he made up to romance me or just get me into bed. LOL. Well, to answer your question on if I took him up on it, “it was a no for. me dog,” to quote Randy Jackson. LOL. But I’ll be honest, I gave him an A for originality and effort!

Why didn’t I take him up on it? Well because we briefly dated in high school and while we’re friendly, I didn’t want to have sex with him nor anyone else at the time. Do I regret it now? Nope. I’m still holding out for a connection with someone.

What about you?

This entry was posted in divorce, finding happiness at 50, love and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

14 Responses to Romancing The Stone

  1. scr4pl80 says:

    Divorce virginity. That’s an interesting concept. I’m lucky to have the romantic (still after 36 years although not as frequently displayed) but I’ll be honest, if something happened to my husband, I would not be anxious to get into another relationship so it would have to be the Romancing the Stone type of encounter for me to change my mind.

    Like

  2. LA says:

    Divorce virginity is a great concept. I’m thinking….

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Ainsobriety says:

    My divorced friend and I had this exact conversation! Lol. She has a “boyfriend” for semi regular sex, but not long term love. I have zero interest in either.

    We both love romance movies and novels. She said she wanted passion. I was surprised. I don’t really believe in passion…do other people?
    Yes, I love the swept away experience of movies and books, but I think reality is different.
    Craig and I didn’t have passion, but we got along great and enjoyed doing things together. Until the affair I thought we were as good as it got. We both were sober and I liked him. Yes, he was sometimes difficult and often an asshole, but when we met for lunch at work I was always happy to see him. Wasn’t that love?

    When I found out about the affair I was so hurt and asked him – he was my best friend…why would he do this? He told me I was his best friend too, and he couldn’t explain. He though his behaviour had nothing to do with me. Sigh.

    I’m not even sure what love would look like anymore.

    Anne

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    • janieleeds says:

      So ‘friends with benefits’ works for some people (or so I”m told). I haven’t had that experience so I can’t speak to it.

      The ex and I were best friends (that’s how it started for us too) so I can only imagine how heartbreaking your situation with Craig was for you. I’m so sorry…

      I”m not sure what love looks like anymore either, but I’d like to find out so I’m keeping the door ajar in case…and I guess we’ll see what happens. In the meantime, I am just living my life and finding happiness.

      Hugs to you Anne.

      Liked by 2 people

  4. petespringerauthor says:

    Divorce virginity—#The 96,583rd thing I’ve never heard of. Sometimes ignorance is bliss.

    Liked by 2 people

    • janieleeds says:

      Well Peter, you don’t need to worry about that so that’s why you don’t know. I wouldn’t have known that term if I weren’t divorced, nor if that guy hadn’t said it to me. 🙂 Good that you are ignorantly blissful to that term! I keep the faith because I know people like you who are still happily married.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. It’s been about 8 years for me and I think I’m too scared to go there😕
    I am no longer the beautiful young thing and tbh, menopause has left me a bit of the Sahara desert in the crucial place! 😂

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  6. Didi says:

    Well, I’m not divorced – yet, but I have to tell you I’m a little jealous. It may sound crazy to you now, but looking for a new romance and meeting new people sounds something new and exciting. As for your friend who offered you first sex after the divorce he is really innovative. Otherwise, you don’t need him to have pleasure,Am I right?

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    • janieleeds says:

      LOL Didi! My friend, the grass is not always greener over here in divorce land. There’s a lot of healing that goes on and somehow it feels harder to date online than it was when I was in my 20’s and life was different. Add in Covid etc and it’s been more difficult to meet people.
      As for my friend, he was really innovative, but I declined. 🙂

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